Saturday, July 22, 2006

BLATANT STALKING #5

Now, what have we here? If I'm not mistaken, Jake is innocently enough pointing to a very large dogbone he's going to buy for Atticus (or possibly perfumed dog bubble bath?)...but his experience at the pet store is clearly being ruined by a blatant stalker. Let's take a closer look.

Scandal, Miss Green M&M! Of all M&M's, we should have known she would be the one eyeing Jake, but couldn't she have done it with a little more class? This, my friends, is the precise reason we don't let just anyone go on Official Jake Watch Stalking Missions. Honestly. Look at her, reclined lacsiviously, just waiting for Jake to make his way to the check-out counter where she will no doubt embarrass herself even further. I know it must be difficult to control oneself while in such close proximity to the Gyllenhaal, but come on! Whore.

(Thank you, Smurfeyshmoo.)

In other news, it's official Jake Watchers. We are getting the exclusive of all exclusives! Check out the revised schedule on Stephen's (aka Dad's) website, which now lists us by name as the formal recipients of the answers to the questions which we submitted, whereas we previously were under the impression that said answers would be posted simultaneously on Mr. Gyllenhaal's site and thus possibly not technically exclusive to this site. Got that? Is anyone else starting to grow a little faint as the deadline draws near?

74 comments:

moonbeams said...

OMG, when was this taken???? His hair looks a bit shorter. The mere thought of him going into an ordinary whatsits store and actually like, just being there, shopping and talking and....just standing there being beautiful...(sigh.) He looks as if he's pointing at that green hussy! I'm gathering all green M&Ms as we speak. I intend to stomp on them, crush them, until they are mess of goo in the ground! The hussy.
My profound thanks to the Official Jake Watch Stalker patrol. I've been feeling like I'm in withdrawal and not handling it well at all!

Prophecy Girl said...

Moonbeams, I would expect nothing less than a full boycott of ALL green M&M's by all Jake Watch agents. I commend you for taking action immediately. Actually this pic is a bit old, from 2005. I don't remember seeing it before, but I wasn't checking IHJ daily a year ago either. :)

SquallCloud said...

This is too funny. I think I've seen the run of these pics but not this particular one.

mrs_dalloway said...

Oh,you mean M&M! Who do you think you are, sitting there with that body expression and that look,huh? I kindly suggest you step away and go stalk some of your own kind..there must be some M&M hot males out there.Go search!

cina said...

Hell yes, that little green M&M Missy is clearly eyeing The Gyllenhaal in a nothing but blantant way! Shame on you, greeny! You give all M&M's a bad name by your shameless behaviour. And poor Jake has no idea what's going on! Disgraceful. I have seen these pictures before, but how the hell did I miss that clear case of blatant stalking before?! Makes me question my worthyness as a Jake Watch agent... hmm.

Do I have to add that I personally think next tuesday can't come fast enough?

phoebe said...

I would expect nothing less than a full boycott of ALL green M&M's by all Jake Watch agents.

Reporting for duty! I will no longer eat or even look at a green M&M...EVER!

And my God, Jake looks good in that pic! Did I say good? I mean hot, wonderful, beautiful, gorgeous..ehrm..okay I'll stop now..

phoebe said...

Oh, and I can't WAIT til August 1!!!

~DKBB~ said...

Wow, Papa G. will respond directly to JakeWatch exclusively?! That is SO cool!!!!

gin said...

You know she was imagining him licking her free of her candy shell. ;)
OK, even though I didn't submit a question I am super excited now for August 1st. That's awesome.

Agnes said...

First we find this blatant stalker so no more green M&M's for me. They have to learn! Then we have Then we have Gyllynpapa, can't wait. A good day as a Jakewatch agent!

The Bearded Lady said...

These are the infamous pet store pics....

Sarah Gyllenhaal said...

OMG, thats SO cool!!! Yay, poppa Gyllenhaal!!!

Nothing Really Matters said...

PG i think it may be best we eat all Green M&M's thus nothing like this would ever happen again!

Anonymous said...

Cool that JakeWatch is getting the official nod of approval from Pops!! But did anyone catch see the best bit of all?

On that same Gyllenpapa page, go down to point 4, The line that says "To read and discuss his most controversial poem, "At 25", click here" - guess where it ends up??? Back here on JakeWatch!!! The 50 comments made the day BPB posted his love poem to Jake!!

Elle

mrs_dalloway said...

Yup, I've noticed that too,Elle! We are something! I sooo can't wait for the day our questions will have answers on that page!This is really exciting!!

Anonymous said...

On that same Gyllenpapa page, go down to point 4, The line that says "To read and discuss his most controversial poem, "At 25", click here" - guess where it ends up??? Back here on JakeWatch!!! The 50 comments made the day BPB posted his love poem to Jake!!

Wow!!! Thanks for pointing that out!!! :)

The Bearded Lady said...

Yes Elle, you should have seen last month or so ago they had 7 or 8 links to columns here!...Funny and embarassing at the same time.

Elle said...

I was a bit distracted last month so I missed that, Bearded L! Know what you mean, though, it makes you want to be careful how much visible drooling you do here!

cina said...

I love how we get recognition from mr Gyllenpappa himself. I hope we have Jake's as well... ;-)

Amerika Bound said...

Bahaha I laughed out loud for this one and my momz wondered what I was laughing hysterically for..

"er personal joke momz!"

The Bearded Lady said...

Yeah I always wonder why the eyes of the green M&M follow you whereever you go?
I thought it was just me.

Kendra said...

^^Yes, Cina, that would the Next Risky Step Approaching the pure born god-son of Gyllenfamily!

claire said...

A bit of wee came out when I read that Jake Watch has a mention on dad's site. I think everyone here should be officially proud of themselves for getting that one step closer to 1) the J man himself and 2) world domination

The Bearded Lady said...

^^ LOL

Anonymous said...

Green M&M's are an aphrodisiac!?!?

OK IF I MUST--- :::grabbing Jake and a handful of green M&M's:::::

msdonniedarko said...

hahah that is good pic and yes the green m&m is evil! but i think the stalker is whoever is behind the counter taking the pic and jake dosent even know!

msdonniedarko said...

where is our jakey today?

Anonymous said...

^^^ If I was betting, I'd say Paris to watch the end of the Tour de France.

Patt said...

Great Blog.I enjoyed it all.

moonbeams said...

The TDF ends Sunday, so maybe he's still up at the villa...or down at the villa,... or he's up and down...at the villa. I was hoping that Ingmar would have reported in by now. Maybe Ingmar fell asleep on stakeout in some doorway and didn't notice Jake stunbling over his legs on his way home from a night of wild revelry.
I have no more fingernails to bite...and I can't reach my toes.

SquallCloud said...

It's so awesome how Gyllenpapa has taken us under his wing but this brings an interesting question to my mind. Does he simply not know some of the lascivious and downright dirty things we say about his son on this site? Does he do that congnative disonence thing where everytime he sees us refer to his baby son as "The Sex" he translates it to "The Talent" or something else equally wholesome? When we spaeak about the "Shut the fuck up!" scene does he know that we're not necessarily discussing Jake's choices as an actor in that scene? I'm just curious to know how he deals is all.

The Bearded Lady said...

What if it's a tie? do they have a run-off?

msdonniedarko said...

that is a good question squall i think he was a stud back in the day, and he is just proud that all the girls love his son! im sure dirty things were said about papa back in his day so he probly thinks its normal not nasty. but who knows

SquallCloud said...

Hmm you make a good point MsDD maybe it's a very "chip off the old block" feeling. Although didnt' Cantara say he was very modest and not used to attention like that but was flattered that some of the ladies here started turning their sights to elder Gyllenhaal esp after we saw in the beach pics that Jake's sweet ass wasn't born in a vaccuum and his apple didnt' fall far from the tree.

Anonymous said...

I think that was Cantara making those observations,not Mr Gyllenhaal. You would have to go back a few months and re-read the threads about Mr. Gyllenhaal's poetry.

Anna said...

I think it's so funny that they link to Jake Watch for people who want to read and discuss his poem "at 25"... It's as if Jake Watch is a part of Gyllendaddy's offical site. ;)

I didn't submit any questions myself, but I can't wait to read the clever questions I'm sure the rest of you submitted, and of course his answers.

Anonymous said...

OMG guys, lots of stuff coming out about Jake playing Lance in a bio pic! Here and here. Seems like it might happen.

Prophecy Girl said...

^^^ Thanks, anon! These are going up with tomorrow's post. :)

Anonymous said...

Cool, PG! It seems legit because Nikki Finke is well known and pretty official with her info.

Anon 7:30 PM

Anonymous said...

Nikke Finke says: "And the studio as well as Lance are fortunate that an Oscar nominee like Gyllenhaal wants to do it."

DAMN RIGHT!!!

Anonymous said...

Love to see Jake in any great movie, so if he thinks this Lance Armstrong bio pic will be a wonderful movie, then of course I support him in his choice.

BUT, I hope he doesn't get that awful Lance Armstrong haircut for the role!!! Lance has a great story to tell and I know he's more than his awful hair.... but geez really.

Jake is such a great actor, he can 'be' Lance Armstrong and make us all understand and feel that man's compelling story (and stir us all with an amazing portrayal), without adopting that really bad cut!

So, I implore the Director and movie stylist, let Jake keep his gorgeous hair. It might make us even love Lance's story more. You know: To think Mr. Armstrong was so physically powerful and talented to cycle great distances and with amazing speed, to handily win seven straight Tour de Frances, to beat the odds on cancer, to lead the incedible Live Strong campaign against cancer, to have lived through a trying childhood, to make this once very obscure sport a maintstream obsession, AND to have an amazing head of full dark beautiful hair that women around the globe want to run their hands through (ohhhh).... all at the same time. Wow! What a guy. I like him more already.

Anonymous said...

Fuck!I hope the Lance film is not true.There would have to be some major changes going on.He looks nothing like him for a start,the head would be shaved again,can't even stand the thought of it.Jarhead was enough.He looked good,but the hair has to stay.And then there is the Lance bumpy nose.What they gonna do?Put prosthetics on his face.And as for the eyes,no amount of make-up will change the beautiful baby blues of Jake's into the beady eyes of Lance.Sorry Lance,nothing against you really just don't want Jake turned into you.I mean really,this has to be a rumour?Doesn't it?Matt Damon is actually cast for this so please let it stay that way.And another thing.Who in hell will play the love interest Sheryl Crow?Reese Withersppon has the correct chin.Yes,Reese and Matt will go very nicely together.

SquallCloud said...

If Matt is cast already I'd think that he'd be pretty damn pissed by Lance courting Jake. Jake is obviously favored to play the part. I doubt they'll make him look like Lance. They look too different. They'll just pull a Denzel in X. Denzel doesnt' look anything like El Haaj Malik Shabazz but through acting and cadance he became him. No prosthetics or trickery... possibly a shaved head but whatevs. Jakey will still be hotter than lava.

Girl Friday said...

The idea of a bio pic about a person who is NOT already dead or even past the age of 50 bothers me.

I'm sorry, I just don't see the reason behind this. I'm not even sure I could get over their physical differences.

That had better be one hell of a script and director.

jla said...

Can I just say that we are pretty hot shit here people!! Gyllendaddy is amazing for answering the questions of our humble little community!

BTW... The green M&M is a slut!! I have it on good authority!! She's done all the confections in the candy aisle. She gave up her Kit Kat to Mr.Goodbar. The tramp even let the 3 Musketeers Skor for a Hundred Grand! Back. Away.From. The Sex. you chartreuse hussy!

Anonymous said...

I'm perplexed. I will support Jakey in any project he choses to do, but the Lance bio-pic makes me queasy. I don't mind that Lance is very much alive, but I do mind that he is still a very public figure with a very strong presence. I mean everybody knows what he looks like and who he is. And even if Jake were to do a stellar job, (and he would) I think it's a poor casting choice. Now if they do a bio-pic and Jake has an important role NOT as Lance, that's different. This seems like it's still at the wishin' and hopin' stage. I'm surprised Lance wouldn't want to play himself. Maybe he wants to become ACTORGUY! LOL!

Katie of Sweden said...

HA HA HA HAAAAA.. It took me like 5 minutes to understand what that post was about.. I didn't even see the green M&M. LOL

Ah maaaaaaan, I had this ’one of 3 best movies ever’-experience yesterday. Me and a friend rented HIGHWAY and it was INCREDIBLY GOOD! Both me and my (male) friend (who isn’t a G-haalic) was totally amazed by it. These 4 actors (Jared Leto, Selma Blair & the ‘old’ guy from Scrubs) are geniuses. I so far haven’t seen any film with Leto in it that wasn’t a total blast (Fight Club, American Psycho, ...). And the Gylly…I mean, IMO, Highway has the best JG performance so far, or at least as good as in BBM. I mean, I liked him SO MUCH in Donnie D (but I honestly wasn’t 100 % impressed by the Good Girl), but here…oh my, words can’t describe it! I’d say: BUY IT...NOW! Sorry for the long comment but I'm high on that film..

phoebe said...

I'm glad you liked it Katie! I was not too impressed with Highway though. Didn't like it at all. Jakey was of course great, as always, but apart from that...nah. It just didn't do it for me.

cina said...

Can't say I was that impressed with Highway either to be honest. But Jake was incredibly cute in it, there's NO doubt about that!
I definitely prefer The Good Girl, I love that film, and I love me some Holden Worther! :-D

The Bearded Lady said...

Jla LMAO!!!

heddaparsons said...

Re: Jake playing Armstrong, bad casting IMO. I checked over at IMDB and it has L. Armstrong listed as writer! Damon name is still attached and I did hear a rumor last month that Lance approached Matt about playing the part, it sounds like he turned it down.

I'm sorry this is starting to sound like some cheesey Lifetime cable movie. This is not the project I was hoping Jake would sign on after Zodiac. I also have a feeling LAnce wanted to play himself but Sony convinced him otherwise. Won't believe it until it's officially announced.

PS: Does anyone find it odd that Jake is described as "in the running"? Who else are they looking at?

The Bearded Lady said...

Miss Bearded Lady is feeling queasy now...I think I need to lie down.
I'm having a "Tour avec écœurement"

kokodee said...

Nikke Finke says: "And the studio as well as Lance are fortunate that an Oscar nominee like Gyllenhaal wants to do it."

DAMN RIGHT!!!

Absolutely anon! Lol.
Guys, I actually think its a good idea.
I mean Lance should be grateful that he gets to look like the Sex on film.
How many people living or dead can get to say that they were played by Jake Gyllenhaal? Just ask Tony Swofford, there are glaring physical differences between the man and the Sex but who noticed or cared?

Anonymous said...

5:18: But Swafford is not well known, and still even after the movie came out, i have no idea what he looks like. First Damon, then Matt who both look like they are not interesetd, and now Jake?

Methinks Lance heard about his hereo worship and approached him. Nothing wrong with playing a living person: Swafford/Jarhead and Graysmith/Zodiac but with those two, they are not well known.

moonbeams said...

I cling to the hope that Jakey is preparing for a cyclist film not a Lance bio-pic. I agree with those who think Jake is not right for the part. And frankly, this should be one of those made for TV movies. Think about it. No matter who is in it it won't be a hit in theatres. Lance IS well known. And so is his story. If they do a film about him the reaction will be "So what." I think Lifetime or Hallmark. I'm excited about JW and Papa Gyllie. He affects me in a more cerebral way than his son does.

Katie of Sweden said...

Honestly... Jake playing Lance.. I don't want that image in my head... please NO NO NO!! I will boycott it!

I see from cantaras page that she has written 'feminist p*rn' (now what is that?) using a pseudonym, and I wanna find out if it's good..as the feminist woman I am...so if anyone have it electronically, pleazze email me..

Watching Eurosport live right now... hoping for some glimps of our man at the finnish..

Katie of Sweden said...

I still think the only bio Jake should be playing in is one of Kennedy Jr..

Katie of Sweden said...

OMFG OMFG OMFG.. SWEDES; look here.. I just by coincidence checked the TV schedules... Tomorrow at TV3, Jake and Heath will be on Oprah!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I heard thet Jake is preparing for an upcoming role as a cyclist, not Lance Armstrong. That makes more sense.

smurfette said...

OT: found a GQ interview of Justin Timberlake here: http://popsugar.com/12202 and it had mentioned the MTV awards.

//Later, he presents the award for Best Kiss--which of course goes to Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger. "The fellas," as he puts it. Makes an ad-lib crack on air about getting a hand job backstage, which will be edited out of the broadcast. Then bolts thirty minutes into the show. ("Can we leave now?" he asks his publicist.)//

Now I'm really curious as to what he said that got edited out! I read some fan reports of the awards, which said it was filmed out of order and most celebs left early, etc. but no mention of this JT ad-lib. Sorry if I'm rekindling any JT hate from before, cuz personally I have nothing against the guy, but am just curious.

cina said...

Thanks Katie! Although I already have it on my computer, I will definitely catch it on TV too!! :-)

Anonymous said...

Didn't JT say something about 'ranch hand jobs'? or was that a different 'joke'?

phoebe said...

Ooo, thanks for pointing that out, katie! Will definitely tune in. :-D

SquallCloud said...

smurfette (Coolest. Name. Ever.) it's okay there is not much that has to happen to stoke the fires of my Trousersnake hate. I think the auditorium was hemhoraging stars by the middle of the broadcast. Jakey left before Christina Aguillera came out didn't he? I hope there is some clarity about what role Jake is training for but really he could be playing the life and times of Paul Rubens and I'd totally see it. ... actually ESPECIALLY if he were playing Paul. I loved PeeWee's Playhouse! Best show for both children and drug addicts ever made!

Smurfeyshmoo said...

Does he do that congnative disonence thing where everytime he sees us refer to his baby son as "The Sex" he translates it to "The Talent" or something else equally wholesome?

Ahaha! That made me laugh so hard! I can't wait for his answers to our questions...and then maybe we can ask more important questions, such as "Can I marry your son?"

dani said...

I would love to see Jake in a cyling movie - just not the Lance Armstrong story. I really don't think any well known actor should play Lance because as people have already stated, he's still alive and too well known. His life would make a great movie, but on the small screen with an unknown who looks like him.

I want Jake to get a real good meaty part that he can show his stuff once again, but I'm not thrilled about any role that would alter his looks too much. I hope and pray that there will never be a character that he wants to play so bad that he would have to gain weight like Jared Leto did recently. Or change anything about his beautiful face. Shaving his head is all I am willing to accept.

Anonymous said...

Phoebe said-Ooo, thanks for pointing that out, katie! Will definitely tune in. :-D


Tune into what?The mtv awards are well and truly over.

phoebe said...

Tune into what?The mtv awards are well and truly over.

Anon 10:18, I was referring to the Oprah show with Jake and Heath that will be shown on Swedish TV today. :-D

Anonymous said...

To Phoebe...
Sorry hon,i got mixed up.

Anonymous said...

Just looking at that picture and wondering why they sell m+m's in a pet store?lol

phoebe said...

No worries, anon 8:19!

Anonymous said...

Looking for information and found it at this great site... Financial planning and asset protection hotel offers

Miranda said...

His hair is sooooo perfect! I'm... in... love.

Order Pills Antibacterial said...

I really liked your article.