Monday, June 05, 2006

OUR FIRST FIGHT. IT WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN SOONER OR LATER

Pics removed.

Jake, there are some things I can cope with - the incessant gay rumours, the Wolverine look, the long distance one-sided nature of our relationship and even the clogs but I will NOT tolerate you going behind my back and coping a look AND a feel of Eva Mendes! Do you understand me, Jake? I'm going to let this one slide for now because I understand you were excited about your win and because I love you but if I EVER catch you sneaking a look at another woman's chest again I'm turning this blog into 'Russell Brand Watch' - at least he comes round to entertain me every Tuesday to Friday. Sort of. I will not be your doormat, Jake. I just won't! Now, if you'll excuse me I must go and collaspe in the drawing room and then hurl whiskey tumblers at the maid.

108 comments:

Anna_F said...

I can't believe he's so openly cheating on you/us! Shocking. Maybe if you did make it into Russell Brand Watch it would make Jake jealous and he would come running back, begging for forgiveness. It's always an option...

phoebe said...

Wha...But...I...I'm... Speechless. Shocked to my very core. I don't understand. Where did it go so terribly wrong?!

queenscroft said...

I saw it first! Ha ha ha, this photo makes me laugh my butt off. If that was possible.

queenscroft said...

But you know, he is only human after all. Plus she is pretty hot. Its perfectly understandable and so hilarious that we can all treasure this moment forever. The moment Jake checked out Eva Mendes at the MTV Movie Awards.

queenscroft said...

I'm sorry I can't stop posting on this, I mean someone should turn the photo into a poster.

Dalloway said...

Oh,yes.This is pure evidence of the cheating. But i find myself obliged to act in his behalf,not only because it was a hard night for the poor guy..i mean look at all those ready to replace Heath and give him THE kiss..but also because sometimes your eyes fall in that..spot..because of the dress..or should i say..the non-existing dress in the upper part..This shit happened to me and my friends at some party,there was this 'lady', a bitch whom i cannot stand, but she had an outfit that made us find ourselves with our eyes goggled without realizing it..
Bad experience..i hate her even more after that.

queenscroft said...

And please Britpopbaby, I know you were only jesting, but please don't turn this into Russell Brand watch. Don't like the look of him at all (judging solely from wikipedia photo).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russell_Brand

Kokoro said...

AAAAAAAAAAAHGGGG!! JAKE!! NO!!!!Fo'REAL!!!

queenscroft said...

I know exactly what you are saying dalloway. Sometimes you can't help but stare. Its like the car accident thing.

Anonymous said...

I think straight men, straight women, lesbians, and gay men would all look there when it's a dress with that kind of cut.

queenscroft said...

They might not smile so smugly about it however

queenscroft said...

And if you look at this photo I don't think Miss Eva minds one little bit.

http://www.iheartjakemedia.com/displayimage.php?album=768&pos=22

tankergirl said...

Forget the booby oggling. It's this flirty sly hand touching that has me panicked!
Jake, I'd be okay with this if it was just "one of those things." Shit, I might change teams for a night with Eva Mendes. She's hot. But just get in and get out.
I don't think I'm ready for a full fledged love affair here.

gummybug said...

Look at how she put her thumb over his hand in the 2nd pic! As if to confirm that she likes his hand there and that she wants to keep it there. Hussy. Trollop.

Anonymous said...

They might not smile so smugly about it however

It doesn't really look like a smug smile to me. She's looking straight at him and laughing and he looks like he's laughing back. It looks more like they were joking about something and the camera caught it making it look more "guilty" than it actually was.

gummybug said...

P.S. This deserves a Get Away From My Man.

queenscroft said...

Maybe we should create a new category aimed at Jake, Step Away From That Attractive Woman

queenscroft said...

But gee think how attractive their kids would be. Sorry had to throw that out there. Maybe this is a Potential Cute Couple

Anonymous said...

That's not the worst of it! Check Jakey going in for the kill in this clip.

http://media.smh.com.au/?rid=19506&sy=smh&source=smh.com.au%2Fnews%2Ffashion%2Fgay-cowboys-the-best-kissers%2F2006%2F06%2F04%2F1149359608529.html&t=1F20TL&ie=1&player=wm7&rate=1980&flash=1

Anonymous said...

Ladies, this is strange. After looking at the scenes I almost think they wanted to make a point in Jakey rejecting Justin and snogging Eva instead, but Eva spoiled it on stage. Although afterwards she seems to be quite happy to cuddle up to him, as he was to feel her assets. They look like cats after eating the canary.

Anonymous said...

tankergirl said, "Just get in and get out."

From the looks of her, I don't think Eva'd even notice.

mdc said...

Where is the discussion of the new jeans? Has everyone been blinded by the sweat stains (not that the stains aren't riveting, I admit)? Dark, crisp & tight, it's a new world. I'm assuming he bought them in NY since they're quite the thing here. But just think what this will mean for all of us if he JUST STARTS TUCKING IN HIS DAMN SHIRTS.

Anonymous said...

Jake is gazing and handling this female like a man who's not getting any. Or not getting enough. Could that possibly be? That -- along with his remark about "struggling with love"-- is enough to make me wonder. How are you doing, Jake G.? Really? You cannot possibly be lonely, since you are clearly an extrovert who's photographed with someone nearly every hour of the day. And you could have nearly anyone you wanted, if that was all that you wanted.

Anonymous said...

JUST STARTS TUCKING IN HIS DAMN SHIRTS.

mdc, maybe luckily for Jake he didn´t have them inside while making nice-nice to Eva, if you get my meaning. No offense intended to anybody.

Anonymous said...

Other pics show Kate Beckinsale giving him a big Heath-style hug, not to mention some nice backstage shots with Kevin Spacey - fingers crossed that means he's coming to the Old Vic!

miffed67 said...

if that was all that you wanted.

I don't think he wants just that. Sure enough, can't be that hard to find if that's all he wants....Poor boy...he's looking for love. I'm sad!

That said, NICE jeans. Finally!

Nothing Really Matters said...

Miffed67 maybe you can give Jake some love!

britpopbaby said...

I haven't got round to the jeans yet - I'm still drooling over the top half, working my way down.

Prophecy Girl said...

Huh. I usually start at the bottom and work my way up.

wtbgirl said...

It's kind of hard for anyone to look away from Mendes' orbs of steel in that outfit - I keep looking at them myself - and I don't float that way.
Luckily Ms. Thing has a very long-term, live-in boyfriend, so she's got the live-in dude to grab a hold of her twin "girls."

Anonymous said...

She doesn't seem to be a stranger to la famiglia Gyllenhaal.

Check out the photo gallery from her IMDB profile.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0578949/photogallery-granitz-0

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0578949/photogallery-granitz-36

Anonymous said...

I don't know Eva Mendes or rocket science. But who ever she is I will say she looked stunning and elegant esp. for MTV...which it is largely a waste on.

wesntia said...

Ha, Maybe the Russell Brand Watch isn't such a bad idea...I read that link to Russell's wikipedia page and anyone who isn't in good terms with Bob Geldof is officially my hero.

To M.D.C said...

M.D.C...yes tuck by all means please!...but between the long baggie shorts...clogs...the Worse offence unhemmed pants...gaudy sneekers... the facial hair. Ya kinda got pick your battles. lol

britpopbaby said...

Huh. I usually start at the bottom and work my way up.

Pervert.

Anonymous said...

Jake's really missing breasts. Looks as if he's been too long deprived of cleavage. The poor guy.

Prophecy Girl said...

Pervert.

Guilty as charged.

Anonymous said...

Britpop funny write up!

Anonymous said...

Vortical orbs ...that defy physics. beware!

miffed67 said...

Miffed67 maybe you can give Jake some love!

I'm ON it, honey!

I usually start at the bottom and work my way up.

You and I are channeling each other or something.....

Ivy said...

What a complete and utter bitch! And Eva isn't much better!

Ivy said...

By the way, in the second picture doesn't it look as though Jake's attempting to crush Eva's right breast with his award?

squallcloud said...

Eva is sex on a stick. Way to go Jakey! I can't get jealous when I'd like to nail the person in question also.

mdc said...

"Ya kinda gotta pick your battles."

No mention in your list of the spandex/bicycling togs. Is that because you consider it a battle lost or do you think they have a geeky charm? Or are you overlooking the whole period out of kindness?

Eva really looks like she needs to be hosed down. And Ivy, I don't think those breasts are crushable.

mdc said...

Eva really looks like she needs to be hosed down. And Ivy, I don't think those breasts are crushable.

welcome to the suck said...

anna_f, definitely WE MUST make Jake jealous...it's the one and only WAY out if all this madness

Re: To M.D.C said...

Yeah, oh you know I honestly forgot the spandex!(must have pushed it into the subconscious)But at least you can say it's proper biking attire, not for other public uses. And as for kindness I can't seem to stay on the wagon on that....If I had to make a choice I'd start with beard...at least keep it to trimmed stubble. It may even keep Eva away from his face? Double duty lol

britpopbaby said...

anna_f, definitely WE MUST make Jake jealous...it's the one and only WAY out if all this madness

I agree. Revenge is the only option. If could all please photoshop images of yourselves groping other celebrities and then we can send it off to him.

Wondering? said...

People help me but can I ask What is this Eva Mendes famous for? No really I have no clue. The name I've heard... did she star in some reality breast implant show?? I almost confused her with Eva Longoria? is "Eva" the trendy name now? Can I name my pet piranha after her? Yours truly, Wondering?

phoebe said...

LOL! Britpop, that would definitely do the trick!

thesweetestone said...

Jake- we and you had a meaningful, deep and fulfilling relationship, and u broke our heart. I mean, if it was because of lack of physical contact, u could just say so, and trust me, wed come to u ... why jake, why..... Now, about eva mendes, main question is- IS SHE NECESSARY?

thesweetestone said...

And, btw, arent we giving him EVERYTHING? How much love, admiration, and blind worship can one man need? I repeat, we ar SO not to blame 4 the lack of physical contact in this otherwise perfect relationship between him and us. Jake, it hurts.

jla said...

Well I don't blame Jakey for staring, I mean damn she has them hanging out like they on the menu!! Not that I blame her, if I had the opportunity to show Jake my "talent" I'd shamelessly have flashing lights and blinking arrows affixed to the bust of my dress!

BTW...It never ceases to amaze me how long young Jacobs' fingers are!! He has one hand wrapped all around Eva's waist and the other hand is handling that atrociously gauche award with ease! Impressive...

Anonymous said...

Common now, be a bit more giving, you should really be a bit more open and loving and allow that poor guy some fun. I think it´s great that they click so well together and have such a lot of fun. Eva is in a long-term living-in relationship, she won´t harm Jakey.

only1annabel said...

Um Jake...did you think we would not see these pics! Foolish boy! I can't deny it hurts but as long as you promise it doesn't happen again I think we can let it slide...for now! Consider yourself warned Gyllenhaal!

Bruinsmama said...

I like it, it feeds my fantasy that he is Bi and that is HOT!
(sorry Britpop please don't hurl gin tumblers at me!!)

britpopbaby said...

People help me but can I ask What is this Eva Mendes famous for?

She was in 'Hitch' with Will Smith, that's all I know her for.

wtbgirl said...

I believe Mendes was also in the wonderful sequel to The Fast and the Furious, a sequel actually PANNED for NOT having Vin Deisel in it, if you can believe THAT.

However, she is currently, or just finished, filming a movie with Joaquin Phoenix here in NYC, so Eva's trading up.

Katie of Sweden said...

Phew! Eva Mendes was born in 1974! I am pretty sure Jake is more into same age relationships cause he's so serious... (and I think he want them to be actresses and that they look like Maggie :o)

Katie of Sweden said...

Wee, yes she's gorgeous, but she reminds me of a..what's it called in English? A latino american guy who has changed his sex to become female? A transexual! Of course a stunning one but those are usually stunning so...

Nothing Really Matters said...

We should all take photos with you Britpop that would make Jake Jealous!

gummybug said...

Anyone else notice that their profiles are kind of similar? Except for the mouth area.

Nothing Really Matters said...

Eva has very big lips! I guess that could be a good thing.

miffed67 said...

He has one hand wrapped all around Eva's waist and the other hand is handling that atrociously gauche award with ease! Impressive...

Hmmmmm, what THAT puts me in mind of. What size are his feet again?

lola said...

It's ok! Our boy likes to watch women's breast. So what? She's beautiful... It's not so strange. Can we just forget BBM for a moment?

Miss Twist said...

Ahh Yes I knew there was something I wanted to share with you guys, I just forgot earlier. This is a little clip of Jake actually being serious for once, but darn cute doing it:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/5045728.stm

It isn't as good as Anon 5:02's clip, god I love that "I said to Heath "If we don't win the MTV Movie award for 'Best Kiss', it wasn't worth it"....It is now!"

jla said...

Hmmmmm, what THAT puts me in mind of. What size are his feet again

Miffed once again we are telepathically connected.... whatever would become of the gutter if our minds didn't take up permanent residence there?

Anonymous said...

You toss "gay rumours" in there as if that's something Jake's responsible for and needs to apologize. Whether he is or isn't gay it doesn't belong on a laundry list of annoyances. Why the end-of-the-world attitude on here about him possibly being gay?

Dani said...

I guess I should be glad that Eva has a long term boy friend because at first I was very disturbed - ok, insanely jealous - that Jake was so obviously mesmerized by her. Then I thought maybe Eva might have been just what Jake needs. He does seem like a guy who hasn't been getting any as one anon said. Sure, he appears to be an extrovert in most cases, but he also spends an awful lot of time alone. We think he can get anyone he wants, but maybe he's not that confident. Maybe that's why he goes after the same type of woman - the Kirsten type - that he feels comfortable with. To me, Natalie seems like Kirsten with darker hair. So, I think it might do Jakey good to get with someone hot and smokin' like Eva to break him out of the rut. He doesn't have to fall in love. Just have some fun. He's still young so he needs to be a little more careful of who he gives his heart away to. And he might discover that the kind of woman he always thought was right for him isn't the one at all.

wtbgirl said...

anon 4:36: I don't think most of us care if Jake is gay - if so, cool, we want him to be happy, if not, cool, we want him to be happy.
However, for the straight females here, the gay rumors occasionally and mildly interfere with our fantasies of him ripping our clothes off in a wild frenzy. But understand only mildly, at least for me. Heck, if he needs another dude in the room, I'm into it - as long as I'm there too.

squallcloud said...

I just wanna take a moment and allow my mind to light on the lovely scenario that wtbgirl set before us. ... ... ... Sweeet!

Jake spends a lot of time alone but more often he's with various members of his immediate family. I think that is so damn sweet. I know if he ever settles down [Vader]Noooooo[/Vader] I think his woman is going to have a lot to live up to in the Gyllenhaal clan. "Nope, you're nowhere near as dope as my mama. NEXT!"

Also, I'm a little peeved at Gyllendaddy for putting that "daughters" comment in my head because when I think of Jake, me, and some random cute boy ... oh let's say Jonathan Rhys Meyers, I don't wanna feel all bad about my familial obligations. >:o( lol

Smurfeyshmoo said...

Not that I blame her, if I had the opportunity to show Jake my "talent" I'd shamelessly have flashing lights and blinking arrows affixed to the bust of my dress!

LMAO. So, so true. I wouldn't even be that subtle--I'd probably just rip my shirt off right then and there, ask him if he sees anything he likes.

Dani said...

Squallcloud. thanks for the reminder that Jake does spend a lot of time with his family. He is especially close to Maggie as I am with one of my brothers. You are right, any woman will have a lot to live up to in the Gyllenhaal clan. And it has to be a natural fit for everyone. Jake can't just pick a woman and hope that she will fit. Nor would it be fair for him to have to choose one or the other. That's tough. I wish him luck and I still think he shouldn't give his heart away too fast.

Anonymous said...

I read that Kirsten was at the MTV Awards, but hung out with Jack Black, who recently married his high school sweetheart, so maybe they were just being friendly or doing a project together. Wonder if she bumped into Jake, and what her reaction to his wins was?

queenscroft said...

Yeah Keeeeer-stin and Jack Black are making some movie together, a comedy about a dude who works at a video store and has to remake all the movies. Hope its better than Wimbledon. Ha ha, I am mean today.

Anonymous said...

"Why the end-of-the-world attitude on here about him possibly being gay?"

Well first of all there is not a hint of your above mentioned attitude on this site. But I am not surprised nowadays that gays develop their melodramatic ways in defending their life-style, you may have your reasons, but surely not with the contents of this site. No one on this site has any problem with guys being gay, as far as I remember all the posts here. It´s just tongue in cheek humour, which as far as I can judge it, is trying to include the gays in the shared love for JG. It´s quite funny that some gays seem to be able to only appreciate their kind of humour, which at times can be quite strange, frankly (for example quoting every stupid stereotype, beginning with the "famous" gaydar, they ever encountered just to "prove" some, usually young and good looking male is gay. Even hinting that someone is gay because he works with gay people (director, writers) is taken into account as if homosexuality was some transmitted thing, just to prove the wishful thinking). The latest, very amusing argument is, that gays would look at boobs, with the same facial expression as every straight male would do, which is just so not true, if you are really into the same sex. All the gays I know are rather turned off by boobs, and you can see it clearly in their faces. Well to each their own, right, and no problem with that. We could even joke about turn on, turn off things like that together. Would just be nice, if we could laugh about jokes together, wouldn´t it? It is not necessary to maybe purposely missinterpret things just to make a point. If that was not your intention, I regress, but I wanted to let you know, how your message came over to me.

britpopbaby said...

You toss "gay rumours" in there as if that's something Jake's responsible for and needs to apologize. Whether he is or isn't gay it doesn't belong on a laundry list of annoyances. Why the end-of-the-world attitude on here about him possibly being gay?

Thanks anon above for taking that on. First off it was part of the JOKE and I was complaining about the RUMOURS and them being never ending. Jake could be as gay as a Elton John, George Michael and Boy George tribute act to the Village People but we're not going to know for sure anytime soon so there's no point getting your knickers in a twist about it. Plus all sorts of fantasies are encouraged.

Ireen said...

The looking, okay. But the touching isn,t that bad, he is trying to avoid the bare skin of her back, you see it? ;-)

Anonymous said...

sorry ireen, but he´s even spreading his hand, so that his thumb gets her bare flesh and his pinky gets as far down as possible. You meant well, but his action defeats you.

Anonymous said...

Um, personally I've never had a problem with this site in regards to the gay issue. I mean every now and then I'll see a comment that I don't particularly agree with but overall, I would never think of people here as disrespecting of gay people. That said, I am actually put off by anon at 1:10 AM.

I realize you're defending others against the accusation that people aren't gay friendly at this site (which like I said, I agree that this would be a ridiculous thing to say) but I don't think your defense was well worded at all.

But I am not surprised nowadays that gays develop their melodramatic ways in defending their life-style, but surely not with the contents of this site.

Personally, I realize I may be acting sensitive, but I found this offensive. By tacking on that last part you make it seem as though you see all of us as too melodramatic just because someone might feel offended by something you feel isn't offensive. But you don't know why someone might feel something is badly worded and therefore insensitive and I don't think questioning things means that the person is just being melodramatic.

It´s quite funny that some gays seem to be able to only appreciate their kind of humour, which at times can be quite strange, frankly

Okay, not everyone has the same sense of humor. What you might find funny, might be very offensive to someone else just based on different life experiences. That's not to say we can't all laugh at shared jokes either but we should also be aware that because we're online, things don't always come across right when joking. It's not always easy to read how to take something when we can't see the person making the joke.

(for example quoting every stupid stereotype, beginning with the "famous" gaydar, they ever encountered just to "prove" some, usually young and good looking male is gay...just to prove the wishful thinking).

Actually I don't think "gaydar" is entirely made up. However, that said, it's really only "accurate" when meeting someone in person. It has nothing to do with stereotypes but rather the way he looks at you to show 'hey I'm gay and interested'. Otherwise we'd be taking way too many risks when meeting men in settings that aren't exclusively gay because you wouldn't want to end up accidently hitting on some homophobic straight guy.

The latest, very amusing argument is, that gays would look at boobs, with the same facial expression as every straight male would do, which is just so not true, if you are really into the same sex.

Well I'd say, first of all, that's discounting bisexual men. Second of all, obviously this is about the Eva/Jake pictures and I think the problem here is that it all comes down to speculation. We don't really know what's going on in the picture. Eva's looking at Jake and smiling. Perhaps she made a joke about them and he's looking at them and grinning at the joke. Maybe he was starting at something else and the picture takers just happened to snap it at the right moment (or even took it at that moment on purpose). We really have no real idea what's going on there for sure. Lastly, you say later on that all the gay guys you know are rather turned off by boobs. But I've known lots of gay men who are fascinated by them. I don't know what being into the same sex has anything to do with it. I do know gay men who would be smiling at them in a way that may make them look like they're ogling the boobs in a sexual way but are really just fascinated by them because frankly, we don't have them unless we're fat and even then it's not the same. One of my friends even loves to touch them (only when allowed of course) because he thinks they feel cool. Doesn't mean he gets off on them. But he does like them.

Would just be nice, if we could laugh about jokes together, wouldn´t it? It is not necessary to maybe purposely misinterpret things just to make a point. If that was not your intention, I regress, but I wanted to let you know, how your message came over to me.

I agree with this, I just don't personally agree with the rest of your message. I think we just have to be more aware of how things can sometimes come across when it's only words we have to go by.

Anonymous said...

Maybe he was starting at something else and the picture takers just happened to snap it at the right moment

By this I meant, starting to look at something else

Anonymous said...

I'd say that wtbgirl's remarks come closest to my own feelings about Jake and the gay question. Though not exactly. Gay is normal, gay is great. (The Republicans are, as usual, behaving like a bunch of assholes RE the proposed amendment.) But if I find out that Jake's gay, it's going to seriously interfere with my straight female fantasy life. But then I'd just move on & find a straight boy to fantasize about. Lots of handsome actors out there starting careers, every day, there's sure to be one who appeals. Unlike some others, I don't want to imagine Jake with anyone but me, so I wouldn't get off on thinking of him with some guy. But that's just me, personally. Turn-ons are very personal & idiosyncratic. Sexual attraction can be very fragile -- on Jake's part, even a big weight gain & habitual clog-wearing would endanger it. Gay would end it completely. Though I'd still think he's a beauty & a fine actor, it would be kind of masochistic to be dreaming of someone who's thinking only about other guys.

Anonymous said...

Can the Republicans sink any lower? I feared they would dig deep in the scum bucket to try to win. They are totally shameless.

Anonymous said...

4.03, thanks for answering 1.10 so eloquently and saving me the trouble.

Anonymous said...

I'm anon 4:36, thank you, anon 4:03; eloquently stated indeed. We sound like robots with our numbers, don't we? :)

Anonymous said...

Well, well, well, seems that someone is trying again to misunderstand here.
Firstly: in your first quote you wilfully deleted my phrase “you may have your reasons”, just because it makes your statement a bit more plausible?
Secondly: to assume BPB was having problems with JG possibly being gay is about as valid as calling her a racist because she was impersonating a Naomi with her issue, and that is what I was trying to make clear with my contribution.
It is indeed strange that some, and I repeat again as before: SOME gays are very sensitive with remarks being made about the subject of gayness even when it is obvious that someone is joking, but are very insensitive when it comes down to assuming someone is gay or outright calling someones behaviour, judged by photos, being gay, and that is what I think is to have double standards.

“Actually I don't think "gaydar" is entirely made up. However, that said, it's really only "accurate" when meeting someone in person.”

Right, and we are talking internet here, aren´t we.

“Well I'd say, first of all, that's discounting bisexual men.”

Well, I don´t subsume bisexual men as being gay.
And I don’t even start to speculate seriously about a couple being photographed at some event, because that is a complete waste of time. Although I do joke about it, as was intended here, because that is just fun, at least for me, and it seems some others also think it´s just amusing.

Even if this is quite irrelevant: I am sure you know a lot more gays than I do, but: the gays I know just don´t like boobs, at least that´s what they say. I never claimed all gays dislike boobs, but definitely all gays I know are not into them.

Again some of you may have their reasons to their righteousness, but in this situation it was not called for, and I stand by that. I also know that some of you are quite quick to call the homophobe card when some issues are not to their liking, but I wont play along that game, because that would be just too easy, wouldn’t it. We are talking internet here and you are right, it´s easy to misunderstand each other. Although it is quite simple to wilfully misunderstand to serve a purpose and that is something I severely dislike.
If you wanted to contribute, you could have been funny, anon 4.59, instead of being holier than thou, and pulling the same lame old homophobe card. I suppose quite a lot of us here have fewer problems with gays than you seem to have with some straight people.
What about some joke on that pictures, I give you an example: You could have said that this showing off with Eva was just a major trick acted masterfully by Jakey, to scare his lovely mum senseless by trying to pretend to hook up with an older Latina, so that she will be quite relieved when he takes her to meet his cute Jewish boyfriend.

Anonymous said...

What would it take to make us all stop loving Jake, I wonder? For me, these might be deal-breakers, if they occurred in any combination:

A) Fifty-pound weight gain or more (a la Brando)
B) Face disappears into a mass of hair (i.e., old Testament style beard)
C) Habitual clog-wearing
D) Registers as a Republican
E) Becomes born-again or joins a Hasidic sect
F) All of the above, plus he comes out as gay (which would seriously conflict with D & E, but I have a feeling that's been done already by someone, somewhere). Others on the board can change "gay" here for "straight," as appropriate.
G) Reveals that his eyes are actually brown, and it's been colored contact lenses, all along.

wtbgirl said...

I think only one thing could make me stop loving Jake - the Gyllenhaal enbracing Scientology. ick. yuck. That is my line in the sand.
But since that is never gonna happen, I doubt the Jake love-shack can be skaken. I'll even love a heavy-set, Yeti-beard, clog wearing-Jake, so long as he doesn't then retreat to a remote mountaintop somewhere and start sending packages and incoherent manifestos to random businessmen.

britpopbaby said...

I'm so dillusional that nothing could stop me loving Jake unless he reversed over my cat in his humungous Mercedes Benz.

Anonymous said...

5.43, ex 1.10, you sound a little aggressive. Have you considered that the reason you are sometimes misunderstood has something to do with the tone in which you express your opinions, and the vocabulary you use ("subsuming" bisexual men into gays? would you have used "subsuming" if you were talking about categorising bisexual men with straight men?) also your idea that your opinion is the only correct one. Life isn't that simple.

Back to the merriment.

I agree with 5.44 about things that can put me off Jake, apart from F) which I would be fine with (and earlier poster, I am not a bit masochistic).

Anonymous said...

"5.43, ex 1.10, you sound a little aggressive. Have you considered that the reason you are sometimes misunderstood has something to do with the tone in which you express your opinions, and the vocabulary you use ("subsuming" bisexual men into gays? would you have used "subsuming" if you were talking about categorising bisexual men with straight men?) also your idea that your opinion is the only correct one. Life isn't that simple."

Yes of course I would have used subsuming categorising straight and bisexual. I don´t think this sounds aggressive or offensive, only if you are already inclined to think that or are biased.
Could you explain where you got the impression or where I stated that my opinion is the only correct one? If you are assuming that I am indeed allergic to people trying to bully someone by pulling the homophobe or racist card if the subject discussed is not going according to their intentions, you are right. But that is not what you aimed at, or is it? And believe me, I really know that life is not simple, not with sexual issues or anything else, which by the way does not mean I am bitter. I quite enjoy my life and I enjoyed the discussed issue here, which is something some of you are obviously not doing.

Anonymous said...

I am fine, actually! And I am the person who took you up on a few things immediately above, but I am NOT the person who responded to you originally, as you seem to believe. That's one very simple incidence of what I am trying to say about your tone. Anyway, pax, I am done with this subject - it's a fun blog.

Anonymous said...

"but I am NOT the person who responded to you originally, as you seem to believe."

Do you know the mirror-laws, I am grinning here. What gave you the impression I thought you were the other guy? Just curious?
Sorry, if I don´t fit into your inner pattern of me.

Anonymous said...

And sorry I'm a girl.

Gotcha! Grin away.

squallcloud said...

How 'bout all the anons give yourselves names real quick. It's simple. Wanna keep you all strait in my head.

I actually was told to shut up or go away by a poster after making a mild comment about Jakey with the boys but right after that someone else defended me. I think there is a lot of ire on both sides, but this blogs official stance and most of the regulars are accepting of folks. Doesn't make a lick of sense to get so pissed. We don't know him. I usually dont' speculate just fantasize.

The reason why there cannot be an A List actor who is out and gay (If anything he's bi, because he did love him some Kirsten.) is for the reasons stated by anons 4:40 5:44. A lot of women would find it a turn off. Of course His People aren't taking into account the legions of women who woudl find it a HUGE turn on like me and Molly Simms (modeltress from "Las Vegas"). Maybe it would all balance out but then he'd also lose his most valued demo and that's Males ages 18 - 34.

(Keep in mind I'm not disparaging either anons mentioned. What you like is what you like. Just tryign to make a point.)

Anonymous said...

And sorry I'm a girl.

Gotcha! Grin away.

9:34 AM

Yeah, so maybe you are, but the other guy, as in other gay, who replied to me first, was a guy as he stated he was gay.
"Do you know the mirror-laws, I am grinning here. What gave you the impression I thought you were the other guy? Just curious?"
That´s what I wrote, where do I state you are male? Tell me, please, and who for gods sake is trying very, very hard here to prove something just to make the point. Maybe it all comes down to English not being my mother-tongue.
SC: I remember, and I thought that someone overreacted, but you sure got some help, didn´t you?

Anonymous said...

And sorry I'm a girl.

Gotcha! Grin away.

9:34 AM

Yeah, so maybe you are, but the other guy, as in other gay, who replied to me first, was a guy as he stated he was gay.
"Do you know the mirror-laws, I am grinning here. What gave you the impression I thought you were the other guy? Just curious?"
That´s what I wrote, where do I state you are male? Tell me, please, and who for gods sake is trying very, very hard here to prove something just to make the point and get some win-win-feeling? Maybe it all comes down to English not being my mother-tongue.
SC: I remember, and I thought that someone overreacted, but you sure got some help, didn´t you? And my objections sure enough did have nothing to do with him being whatever he likes to be, which is really fine with me.

Anonymous said...

Curious. I am a straight girl. Not bi, straight. Why did you think I would be a gay girl? Because I was defending gayness?

Rhetorical questions, btw.

You're right, it may be a language issue, though your English is excellent. According to my small understanding of "mirror laws", telling you you're right should now mean the discussion is ended - right?

Anonymous said...

SC: Understood, one likes what one likes. [To put it bluntly, the c*nt wants what it wants.] I don't really want being part of heterosexist oppression within the U.S. entertainment industry. I don't want concerns about marketing to my demographic to keep any guy fearfully closeted. But, if it turned out Jakey were gay, I'd feel sort of like Cher in "Clueless" when she realizes the cool guy to whom she's been so attracted is gay. She's completely cool with it, and he's still the same great guy. She still loves hanging out with him. But she just doesn't lust after him anymore, she's not nearly so entranced by him. And eventually, she moves on.

Anonymous said...

"According to my small understanding of "mirror laws", telling you you're right should now mean the discussion is ended - right?"

Of course not, lol. BTW: Mirror law: You see yourself reflected, means you transfer your feelings unknowingly, thinking the way you feel is the way the other person is feeling. Thanks for complimenting my English, but I know my flaws, as should you by now. I did not intend to imply you are a lesbian, you see. And now I would also be grateful if our discussion was over, if thats fine with you.

wtbgirl said...

I've decided to insert my shallow self into this mix at this point and get back to the important topic raised earlier about things that could possibly make us stop loving the Gyllenhaal (HA! As if!).

Anon 5:44 am started the ball rolling with a laundry list of possibilities - including some old "We Still Love You Jake" offenses that at some point run amok (HABITUAL CLOG WEARING!).

I have suggested Scientology embracement and becoming the second Unibomber.

Brit suggested she may not forgive Jake for smushing feline companions with large German automobiles, although I assume an accidental mauling would be forgiven - tough break kitty!

Now, would we forgive Jake an almost unforgivable offense committed by ANYONE else - no, not murder, although this IS a crime - but could we forgive him - snogging Paris Hilton?

Tough call - but I say with a great deal of fungicide and the heartfelt promise from Jake that he was drugged, the love-fest would continue.

Anonymous said...

Certain cotton sock and footwear combinations certainly have a lethal potential, where a man's erotic appeal is concerned. I am talking here about constant, utterly unrepentant clog-wearing. Combined with thick, dorky, math-major white cotton socks. I mean, such that Jake clomps around in the things blatantly, as if he's offering some form of wordless defiance to us all: "Yah, take THIS, you nasty blogging JakeWatch readers. I'll wear any damn fugly thing on my feet that I want to. And you'll look at it & like it! And while I'm at it, I'm going to grow facial hair like a member of ZZ Top. I owe you nothing, nothing."

Then, I wouldn't love him anymore. Heath? Oh, Heath?

Anonymous said...

Well, well, well, seems that someone is trying again to misunderstand here.

I didn't try to misunderstand. If anything I was trying to understand where you were coming from because I didn't agree.

Firstly: in your first quote you wilfully deleted my phrase “you may have your reasons”, just because it makes your statement a bit more plausible?

No, actually I wasn't going to include all of the statement and then decided to so when I went back down to copy/paste more of it, I must have missed that part of it and not noticed. I still don't care for the label of "melodramatic" just because someone is offended by something that you don't see as offensive.

Secondly: to assume BPB was having problems with JG possibly being gay is about as valid as calling her a racist because she was impersonating a Naomi with her issue, and that is what I was trying to make clear with my contribution.

I understand what you were trying to make clear (and I do agree in that I don't think anyone was being homophobic), it was just I had a problem with the way you went about doing so.

I never claimed all gays dislike boobs, but definitely all gays I know are not into them.

Actually you did seem to claim all gay men dislike boobs based on the gay men you know that aren't into them because you flat out said "The latest, very amusing argument is, that gays would look at boobs, with the same facial expression as every straight male would do, which is just so not true, if you are really into the same sex" which would imply that you felt it's not true at all that there are gay men who also like boobs and may look at them (and touch them) in the same ways as even straight men. Maybe it's just your wording that made it seem like that's what you were saying.

I also know that some of you are quite quick to call the homophobe card when some issues are not to their liking, but I wont play along that game, because that would be just too easy, wouldn’t it.

I HATE when people call the "homophobe card" at every little thing. That said, I also can understand when some things are a little more sensitive for some people based on life experiences.

kokodee said...

Good gracious! What is with all these anonymouses???
Y'all need to get regular names or somethin' and for goodness sake quit arguing over someone who probably dosen't know you exist and won't be sleeping with you anytime soon!

queenscroft said...

What's wrong with ZZ Top?

maria said...

I seem to have missed this whole discussion but I so agree with what Kokodee said - all those 'anonymous' girls and boys should get themselves a NAME!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure, because I'm not particularly fond of Blogger, which is partly why I don't want to be registered with it -- but I believe that if Britpopbaby herself dislikes anonymous posters, she can turn off that option. If so, then it's up to her, rather than anyone else.

mrs_dalloway said...

Anon 6:58, you don't have to be a blogger to post under a name. There is the "other" option, where you can write whatever name u like, so when you post again we can identify you.. It's as easy as picking the "anonymous" option,only that the other is better for the communication on the blog..My opinion.