A. THE RED LION
Ah, the British public inn - is there anything greater? If there is I'd like to know what it is, by Jove! Spotted Dick, Toad in the Hole, Custard Tarts - it's a culinary delight! And think of the custom it would get: Madonna and Guy Richie, Kate Winslet, Hugh Grant, er, Simon Cowell?
B. A, "I'M A MEGA RICH CELEBRITY AND IF I WANNA OPEN A PRENTENIOUS HIGHLY EXPENSIVE RESTAURANT, EVEN THOUGH I KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT HOSPITALITY, THAN I WILL BECAUSE I CAN!", TYPE EATERY AKA NYLA.
C. 1950'S DINER
Because those places are hella fun and Jake could dress up as Elvis and entertain the patrons with his snake hips - you know it would be packed every night, mainly with people like us.
D. SPECIALIST SWEDISH RESTAURANT
Meatballs and smoked eel, anyone? I'm sure Jake would be thrilled to get back to his roots via these Scandinavian delicacies - not that I'm in any position to joke.
E. BURGER VAN
The glamour! The riches! Imagine waiting in the rain outside football matches to purchase a quarter pounder of meat from the Gyllenhaal!