Thursday, September 06, 2007

BLATANT STALKING: A CHALLENGING APPROACH FROM THE LADY IN GRAY

What ho, stalking fans!

You should be delighted to hear that Jake Gyllenhaal is alive and cruising the streets like a geographically challenged prostitute. Unfortunately this means he is once again a direct target for those dastardly blatant stalkers. Please see below:


Now you know I'm one for giving credit where credit is damn well due, so I will say this; this is an almost perfect example of "forward stalking", i.e, staying literally one step ahead of your victim target. As you can probably appreciate, it's a very difficult technique. Trying to pre-empt the actions of your victim target is nigh on impossible so it really does require a professional. But, can you see where she has gone wrong?

WHO ARE YOU TO SECOND GUESS THE GYLLENHAAL, WOMAN?!!!

He is wild and unpredictable...like the sea, not like Britney.

61 comments:

BirdGirl said...

That has got to be one of the worse outfits I have ever seen. Look at those horrible shoes! Sister if you going stalking try to blend in a little better.

Nothing Really Matters said...

The nasty plastic bag! How vile darling!

city girl said...

do those people walking along side of Jake know how lucky they are?

I'd give my right arm to stroll next to him at least once in my life.

I'm going to be in Los Angeles in two weeks for about two weeks. If I can't meet him in New York City I'm going to have to run into him in Hollywood.

Is there anyone who can give me advice how to meet him? Or where to start looking?

Thanks!!!!

Cherita said...

I'm thinking the annoyance on her face is not so much due to the flash, but the self-restraint required to keep from turning and having a look behind her to see who they're snapping. Because as much as the people in La-La-Land want to pretend otherwise, they're interested in celebrities.

Let's play a game: guess what all the random shapes in Jake's pockets are! He sure did have a lot of crap with him. The front left has to be the Blackberry. The right is probably a wallet. There's paper sticking out (visible in the other shots) and...oh, who cares? I'm just so glad to see him.

britpopbaby said...

Is there anyone who can give me advice how to meet him? Or where to start looking?

No. If I were you I'd just enjoy yor time in LA and not worry about bumping into him.

Prophecy Girl said...

^^^ Seriously. Take it from me.

OK. Dudes. IF YOU LIVE IN CANADA, you must listen to CBC Radio tomorrow morning between 6:00 and 9:00, because I was totally interviewed this afternoon (I was approached by a random woman with a microphone and next thing you know, my career in radio was born).

I'm sure there will be lots of really dorky soundbites along the lines of, "I love Jake Gyllenhaal!" and "I just want to introduce myself!" and "I've tried to meet him five times and I know that sounds really bad." Basically, if anything I said goes on the air, I'm going to sound like a moron...but if you hear someone from Memphis who runs a Jake site, IT'S ME!!!

P.S. Checked out the red carpet setup this afternoon. It's not looking good. Let's hope that sex scene lives up to expectations...

chilmark road race winner said...

PG YOU GO GIRL! See, it's happening already The universe is gathering its forces to make this happen. Hope you bought a gift for Jake from all of us. Maybe you could give him my lobster.

Cherita said...

PG, that fucking rocks! Hopefully we don't have to be in Canada to listen. CBC has a streaming broadcast available. I'm guessing we want the one for Toronto, but maybe it doesn't matter. I'm gonna try to figure out if I have enough disk space to run Audio Hijack on the entire 3 hours just to make sure I catch it.

Oh, and I'm glad you found Green as a Thistle! I'm betting she will ask him about the campaign, whether or not it makes it into her write-up. We can always email her later and ask her for the discarded details!

Prophecy Girl said...

^^^ I know!! I saw your question about Jake in '08 and I was like, BEST QUESTION EVER!! :D And then there was that other comment about the MySpace being taken down...I was bursting with pride. :) I e-mailed her earlier today, actually, and did some casual begging for her to mention Jake in '08. So, we'll see. We can totally e-mail her after regardless. ;)

And OMG, if you could somehow figure out how to get that interview...I have to be up and AT the ticket place by 7:00 to attempt to get tickets to some other things so I don't know how much (if any) of the program I'll be able to listen to. Oh, God! If they use me, I hope it's not too embarrassing!! :)

BirdGirl said...

You should never be embaressed about your love for the man. I am so excited for you girl. Make us proud!!!

Xenia said...

I think the woman broke the first rule of stalking : never look directly at the camera! ;)

You go PG!!! We all love you!!:*

S4M985 said...

I think the most disapointing thing about this picture, is the fact we've missed out of a few weeks of pictues of Jake having short hair again! ARGH! And the tan legs are looking HOT!

PG ive said it before and ill say it again YOU ROCK!

S4M985 said...

I really should have been more positive in the last comment. i mean we've had weeks longing for proof hes still alive and all i can think about it the pics we missed out on with him and short hair. *sigh* i really am so glad to see him, actually i think im just nervouse for PG!

On that note, mate like what birdgirl said, dont be embarassed of your love of the guy! I hope u get on, cause that would be cool. BTW, did u mention JW?! ha!

Anonymous said...

Ah, but the advantage of stalking in front of your victim is that you don't run the hazzard of being so fixated on your target that you walk straight into a lamp post - I speak from painful experience, but it's okay Mr Depp, the bruise on my forehead didn't last too long.

Shaken, not stirred said...

There are pics of Jake arriving in Toronto for TIFF dated yesterday so I guess that "sighting" of Jake in Toronto on Wednesday was bogus, no surprise!


Good luck PG and I'll try and catch on Canadian radio, thnaks for the link Cherita!

bmg said...

Those shorts are evil, but the t-shirt is pure goodness.

Cherita said...

Has anyone heard PG's segment? I listened to the stream from about 6:30 to 7:45, with a few interruptions, but had to leave for work and missed the rest. I'm recording it all the way up to 11 am, just to be safe, but I don't want to wait until I get home to find out if she's on it!

Anonymous said...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20423702/

Vote!

nice anonymous said...

I feel sorry for the blonde, actually. She innocently headed out to Rite Aid to pick up something rather small & suddenly ended up as a featured element in a celebrity candid photo session. Afraid to look back, trying to remain straight-faced, and not trip over her own feet from self-consciousness, while just knowing Someone Important is right behind her. To her great credit, she's far better-dressed than Nice Anonymous is sometimes when she runs similar errands.

Anonymous said...

a jeese dinner/date/whatever video
http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1178221761

Dottieb said...

I think Jake is stalking HER!

Anonymous said...

a jeese dinner/date/whatever video

Doesn't look like date at all.

heddaparsons said...

That chick had better dress better if she wants to be an official stalker!


I can't wait for PG's report on the film, and of course Jake!! I hope she gets to meet him this time.

Anonymous said...

Good luck, PG! Just think - there you are again, knowingly in the same place as Jake.

Le sigh...how I envy you, and also wish you the best luck in the world in this attempt to meet him. Karma owes you big time! ;-)

Ame fushia said...

You haven't seen the latest footage of Jake and Reese yet have you! Follow the links:

http://www.perezhilton.com/

Anonymous said...

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal Set the Record Straight

http://www.etonline.com/news/2007/09/53772/index.html

Anonymous said...

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal Set the Record Straight

TIFF

Anonymous said...

They don't really deny or admit to anything do they.

Anonymous said...

There is nothing to deny except tabloid stories.

Anonymous said...

well regardless of what the nature of their r/ship is, they are hardly gonna want to focus on themselves are they?

Anonymous said...

Well keep your fingers crossed for PG...just saw on the news that apparently the cast of Rendition spent more time signing autographs than on the red carpet!

Shondra said...

Well they finally cleared things up, NOT!!! LOL!!! Anyway at least they weren't asked that at the press conference. I wonder how PG is doing?

nice anonymous said...

I wonder what PG is doing right now, and if she's happy.

Best of luck to her, whatever & wherever.

Anonymous said...

Well they finally cleared things up, NOT!!! LOL!!!

Looks like they did:

"Perez , see if someone can send you a tape of CTV’s ETalk Daily…. they had a camera on the other side of the car. IT WAS JAKE’S ASSISTANT in the car. Not Reese!!!"

Anonymous said...

^^^What's that got to do with their statement??
However you want to see it their statement's still vague and dosen't really address anything.
But then again there are many vague things around Jake :)

Anyway, I'm so eager to hearthe report from honorary stalkers PG and Kate over at WDW!
Goodluck to PG especially!

JW Lurker said...

I cant't wait for PG's report too!!

It was the CTV that thought it was Reese, odd that she would cover her face. Their comments to Entertainment tonight neither confirms nor denies, it obvious they DON'T want to clear things up. And one can imagine what rumors they are laughing off and find amusing!! Jake and Reese would make good politicians.

Anonymous said...

However you want to see it their statement's still vague and dosen't really address anything.

There is nothing to address.

Megan said...

******ANNOUNCEMENT************

I am one of PG's friends in Memphis. She called me today at approximately 2:30pm central time to report that she has indeed met Jake!! He even talked to her!! She will have a full report when she returns : )

Anonymous said...

anon 12:43 here;

There is nothing to address.

Its not us you need to convince. lol.

At Last! Thanx for letting us now megan. I'm super excited now!!!

blamesvedka said...

PG met Jake! and Talked to him!!!
Wow. Karma must be flowing today.
Well done girl!!!!

I can hardly wait for her report. She so deserves this!!!!

nice anonymous said...

Megan, thank you so much for updating us!

This is truly inspiring ... to see that perseverence DOES pay off! Wishes do come true!

twistedlogic said...

Nice one PG!!! Can't wait to read all about it:)

BirdGirl said...

Oh my God! Oh my God! I knew it! I can't wait to hear all about it.

Anonymous said...

City Girl we know he hangs around in Beverly Hills. He lives somewhere in the area.

I mean you'll want to Beverly Hills anyway and I bet you might run into him when you're not looking for him. I know a friend who was stuck at a red light just happened to look over in the next car and lo and behold it was JAKE in the CAR!!!!!!!

AgentLola said...

YES!!!! Mission accomplished!!! PG I am sooooo happy for you and proud of you and OMFG!!!! YESSS!!! I think I want to cry.
Ahem...sorry. Very un-agently of me. :)

penny lane said...

Thanks for letting us know, Megan..!
And many hugs for PG!!

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