You should be delighted to hear that Jake Gyllenhaal is alive and cruising the streets like a geographically challenged prostitute. Unfortunately this means he is once again a direct target for those dastardly blatant stalkers. Please see below:
Now you know I'm one for giving credit where credit is damn well due, so I will say this; this is an almost perfect example of "forward stalking", i.e, staying literally one step ahead of your
WHO ARE YOU TO SECOND GUESS THE GYLLENHAAL, WOMAN?!!!
He is wild and unpredictable...like the sea, not like Britney.