Science with Jake Watch: Because Jake Gyllenhaal Does Have Some Practical Applications
LiveScience.com recently released the results of a study that found that women throughout the ages have "selected for males with relatively short upper faces. The region between the brow and the upper-lip is scrunched proportionately to the overall size of their heads."
Large head, small face. Ladies, we're apparently evolutionarily programmed to select for such features. The prime examples used in the article were Brad Pitt, Will Smith, and Johnny Depp.
Brad, Will, Johnny, and Caveman
Proportionally, these men all have what the article refers to as "bulldog-like faces," and what watchers of Jarhead might call a "squishy face." From brow to upper lip, they pack a lot into a relatively small area:
Did you know that my first comment ever on Jake Watch was in reference to how I have never been particularly attracted to Brad Pitt? It's true. After reading the article, I thought I must be an evolutionary deviant. Not that I wouldn't be proud of that, but I ran a highly scientific test instead...
Well, what do you know? According to my completely non-precise picture resizing technique, Jake is also bulldog-like in facial proportions and thus the women of the world are guided by instinct to find him desirable to father their offspring. Your brain is telling you that anyone with an upper lip that close to his eyebrows would make a good baby-daddy. See? And you thought it was because he has blue eyes. No, it's because he looks like a Cro Magnon man.
In fact, out of everyone in my analysis, the caveman in the first two pictures actually has the least "caveman-like" face. But that's probably because that's not an actual caveman and is instead some random dude in makeup for a Geico commerical.