I was loving this. Dude, LOVING IT. I had the special Jake Watch gold plated cheque book and pen on stand-by. How could it go wrong? So original and yet, so obvious. The slogan t-shirt, the 'Urban Steve Irwin' hat, the unassuming Crocs with socks and oh god, the finishing touch, a leaflet! Jake thinks you're just wild about public interest issues - why else would you be loitering in a car lot, waiting to pounce, in cargo jeans? Erm, maybe because you are a BLATANT STALKER, sunshine! What gave it away? Perhaps the fact you've shoved your crotch into Jake's rear bumper?
Aiming for the collective Gyllenhaal weakspot that is political activism was inspired but like so many before you, you tumbled spectacularly at the final hurdle. For shame. Now you must be archived as an 'also ran'.