Friday, November 10, 2006

I'M BRINGING SEXY BACK

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JAKE GYLLENHAAL'S PHONE

BEEP BEEP
"Hey, jst a msg 2 say soz. L8ly I feel like I've been neglecting u, wot wit nu stress @ work & u disappearing 4 1 mnth. R sex life has gone way down hill. But now I c u voting in semi-tight black tee...
...boots of sex, five o'clock shadow, ...
...and er, TOUNGE & I'm like, he's totally bringng seXy bck! Luv u 4eva BPB xxx"
Hmmm, do I ring back britpopbaby, who I owe so much to for futhering my career at every opportunity, or do I cross this road?

BOTH BABY! I am Jake Gyllenhaal, premier multi-tasker and that is why people worship me!

Pics from iheartjake.

60 comments:

Simon Agent 002 said...

The English accent always throws me off translating your phone msgs. :)

Kendra said...

He's mildly pissed off because probably Kendra's mobile was out of coverage...

cina said...

Hehehehe! LOL

He's definitely bringing sexy back!!

Hm, Simon. The accent throws you off? I guess my english is better than I give myself credit for! Nemas problemas por moi. But then again, I have spent some time in Britain. That could explain it. LOL ;-)

Simon Agent 002 said...

The words "sexy back" are too tied to Timberlame...
I have a queasy feeling everytime I hear them.

It's like another product they are pushing here, "Head On"...repeat it long enough until it's burned (like brainwashing) into your synapses...it's a form of torture.
If untreated, may cause irreversible DNA damage.

lovethejakeness said...

BPB- thanks for the laugh! I needed it this morning...he was right, voting is sexy! How come he wasn't at my voting booth..I got some fat guy with asscrack hanging out...bleh
lovethejakeness

The Bearded Lady said...

^ Clearly your poll worker was doing his part to bring "sexy back" to voting.

Anonymous said...

Vote for Jake! Sexiest boy celeb. Unlimited Voting. Please Publish this on any other Jake or related sits you know:

http://www.mykindaplace.com/lads/pggreatest.aspx

Anonymous said...

"boots of sex" [ snort ]

Anonymous said...

Vote for Jake! Sexiest boy celeb. Unlimited Voting. Please Publish this on any other Jake or related sits you know:

http://www.mykindaplace.com/lads/pggreatest.aspx

Anonymous said...

http://www.mykindaplace.com/lads/pggreatest.aspx

Anonymous said...

Sorry! Use this one.
It will get you there: http://www.mykindaplace.com/lads/celeb

The end of the link was being cut off... hope it didn't happen again. I'm giving a shorter link this time.

Anonymous said...

Really sorry but the last part of that was:

lads/celeb

dani said...

Very cute post. Funny as ever! But I kind of feel like Simon when I hear the words "sexy back" I get queasy when I think of that other guy who doesn't have a clue what sexy is. With Jake, though, he doesn't have to bring it back. He JUST IS all the time!

Anonymous said...

Sorry to interrupt and this is entirely OT, but I just learned some very sad news and I wanted to share it: The Fruitcake Lady has died!!!!! For people who watch Jay Leno, she was an outrageously funny, elderly lady who started out teaching Jay and Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise and Hugh Grant how to make fruit cakes on TV and segued into a regular segment answering questions and opining on a variety of subjects. Her "advice" videos are hysterical! You can watch them at Jay Leno's TV show site.

Prophecy Girl said...

I KNEW he wasn't all talk when it came to sexy, sexy voting. And he even multitasked! Way to come back in full force, Jake.

muffin said...

....and this is why i love JW.....

Diana Rigg said...

"If the booth is rockin' don't bother knockin'"

bring handy-wipes...eww

kaydee said...

he looks sad on those pics :(

he needs some cheering up. perhaps he should visit JW more often. i works for me every time...

have no idea who the fruitcake lady or timberlake is. i'm feeling left out when i don't know what everybody's talking (typing?) about...

my ignorance may be due to not being american or british though

britpopbaby said...

I have no idea who the fruitcake lady is either but I sure will miss her.

Anonymous said...

Girls, this blog is hilarious, I love it! Keep it up!

cina said...

I have no idea who the fruitcake lady is either but I sure will miss her.

*chuckle* ;-D

the queen said...

I guess this is a recent pic because he's wearing that yellow rubber bracelet (yeah I know what it's for but I'm not a Lance fan), but Jake's hair looks a little longer than in recent pics and he's got the 5 o'clock shadow back. He must have gotten on this blog and sympathized with those who voted for "Wolverine Jake"!

only1annabel said...

With regards to Jake bringing Sexy back, amen to that!! He's looking good! I must confess that I kinda like the saying and find Mr JT kinda sexy too! No way near as sexy as our Jake but I was getting lonely without him so whats a girl to do?!

Smurfeyshmoo said...

*Sigh*

Voting, boots of sex, semi-tight black tee, multi-tasking, AND the tongue. He sure knows how to make a comeback.

mpom said...

Wnderful to see him again, but...

I agree with you Jake does look sad, tired, and a bit too thin for my taste. I like my men on the heftier side. My perscription for this would be home made Potato Gnocchi, home made bread right out of the oven and lots-o-Warm Chocolate Chip Cookies. In other words good home cooking keeps em healthy and happy at home.

I learned this at "Mom School"

Simon Agent 002 said...

He had better read the studies about raditation from cell phones ...etc...because I'm beginning to think, he sleeps with one attached to his ear....
Mr. Gyllenhaal, ask about cell phone literature next time your in the health food store.
Models with a bent antenna(away fron your head) expose you to less microwave radiation.
one website discussing it most studies are of european origin as there's only one "It perfectly safe view" from our media in the USA

kaydee said...

he sleeps with one attached to his ear

simon, perhaps this explains why he looks so low.

while everybody knows that the only thing attached to him in his sleep should be my gorgeous self.

and i would keep his fit, unlike the potato gnocchi;)

Anonymous said...

Maybe he's looking leaner in prep for his role as a CIA agent. While I like some of JT's music, I find him a bit too self -involved for my tastes. And how presumptious that he thinks HE can bring Sexy back when Jake is the standard against whom all others will be measured! Sorry, JT. There's Jake. And then there's everyone else.

Anonymous said...

Anyone interested in The Fruitcake Lady can go to Jay Leno's show website and find videos of her segments. I just did and I'm sorry I never got to see her in action.

amerita said...

Queen,
the yellow band is in support of cancer research not the person of Lance Armstrong. And, BTW, Jake has been seen wearing the yellow band since 2003, way before he and Lance became pals so it is not some Lance-hero worship gadget, in spite of what paps captions hint.

mh said...

this week's posts are top form!! Boots of sex indeed.

(and so sad about fruitcake lady, she was so funny, I quote her whenever I can)

Anonymous said...

That's right Amerita. I think Jake's uncle, his mother's brother died of cancer and his best friend's mother died of cancer about a year ago.

Anonymous said...

Just in case anyone missed it in the last post:

Alan Arkin is joining Jake in "Rendition".

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20061110/people_nm/arkin_dc

Alan Arkin is in final negotiations to join Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon in the cast of the political thriller "Rendition."
Oscar-winning South African filmmaker Gavin Hood ("Tsotsi") is directing the New Line project.

Gyllenhaal plays a CIA analyst based in Cairo who finds his world spinning out of control after he witnesses the interrogation of a foreign national by the Egyptian secret police. Witherspoon will play the pregnant American wife of the national.

Arkin will play a senator who tries to help Witherspoon in her search for her missing husband. The investigation eventually threatens the senator's position in Washington.

Arkin is riding high on buzz for his performance in the indie darling "Little Miss Sunshine," and also appears in "The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause."

Reuters/Hollywood Reporter


He is a great actor and was great in "Little Miss Sunshine"

kaydee said...

i like him in v necked shirts & i would kill to have those shoes too

and are those trousers brown or dark grey? very classy. mr gyllenhaal has just redeemed himself in my eyes for the pic from the last post

Simon Agent 002 said...

Alan Arkin is a first rate actor.

Anonymous said...

kaydee, by the last post, you mean
the picture of Jake where he was carressing the inside of his nose? I LOVE to see pics of Jake carressing himself!

kaydee said...

kaydee, by the last post, you mean
the picture of Jake where he was carressing the inside of his nose? I LOVE to see pics of Jake carressing himself!


yes i mean that post and i could live a happy life without seeing jake carressing himself in such way. although i can't say i don't lige the concept in general. i just prefer him carresing himself like that

Newport Girl said...

Potato gnocchi, homemade bread, warm chocolate chip cookies...Nah!

What he needs is a spicy wanton roll with sum yung chik. And since I live the closest, I can deliver. And I mean DELIVER.

Newport Girl said...

By the way, when I see that first picture, the one near the door, I laugh. Because the lighting makes his left hand look like he's wearing a surgical glove...makes me wanna say

I'm ready for my Exam!

kaydee said...

i could deliver as well, even though i live in europe, if he only wanted me to. the sad thing is, i could only deliver myself, because as cooking goes, i even manage to burn my tea kettle from time to time.

but i'm sure that when he sees me, he will be happy to go without any food :)))

cina said...

Those pictures are taken outside the same building as these pictures (among others):

http://www.iheartjakemedia.com/thumbnails.php?album=671

I'm just sayin'... ;-)

veeveevee said...

*sigh*

I've missed him so...

perfectscore_goldstar said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
perfectscore_goldstar said...

{{shiznit ... I had to delete and repost ... BPB has me totally bumfuzzled and I can't even friggin spell or type ... *sigh*}}

Oh dear GOD why did I visit Jake Watch right before I am going to bed ???

*sigh*

Visions of that tight black shirt and those "boots of sex" will happily dance through my head while I am sleeping. Either that or I will lay awake until 3 am wishing that THAT was laying beside me ... "boots of sex" and all ... *sigh*

Just like that BMW that was blocking us from seeing Jake's bare chest ... I damn you, JW ! ! ! Nah, I take that back. JW is all gooood ... all very, very good ...

Oh and BTW ...

It's like another product they are pushing here, "Head on" ... repeat it long enough until it's burned (like brainwashing) into your synapses...it's a form of torture. If untreated, may cause irreversible DNA damage.

Gee, now I have "Head on, apply directly to the forehead ... head on, apply directly to the forehead ... head on, apply directly to the forehead" chiming endlessly in my ears. But then again, Jake could be in my bed, complete with "boots of sex" and repeating that phrase endlessly until the dawn and I *STILL* wouldn't kick him out ! ! !

Great post ! ! ! :) Hope all of the agents have a Jakeriffic weekend ! ! !

S4M985 said...

bringing sexy back is an understatment!!! Great post, you always seem to pull out so much good shit!

cina- i like what your sayin ;)

Anonymous said...

So...about this Fruitcake Lady....

kaydee said...

she looks good in those pictures. her mouth is as kissable as his

Anonymous said...

BPB, remember JT slapping Jake on the bum at the MTV awards? I'd go easy on the 'Sexyback' references...

Agnes said...

There you are Jakey!! We missed you. And I'm with Cina: He's definitely bringing sexy back!!

kaydee said...

did he have a nose surgery or did its shape improve on its own? in his old pics the nose is kinda wider and then BAM it got ok in later pictures.

lazy saturday, have nothing to do except ogling pics and imagining improbable yet very hot scenarioes

mpom said...

did he have a nose surgery or did its shape improve on its own? in his old pics the nose is kinda wider and then BAM it got ok in later pictures.

Yes Kaydee, I have thought this for quite some time now but I was afraid to mention it here. I think sometime before TDAT he had his nose changed. I know that boys noses look bigger in their teens for a while but Jake's has changed shape since October Sky days. He was perfect before but his nose IS beautiful. I can dig out some pics I guess to point it out but maybe not as it is immaterial to me weather or not he had it changed. Many stars do this to look their best for the camera.

Love the man, whatever the nose.

jacknastygirl said...

If this was nose surgery it must be one of the best in Hwood

Anonymous said...

I can dig out some pics I guess to point it out but maybe not as it is immaterial to me weather or not he had it changed. Many stars do this to look their best for the camera.

Love the man, whatever the nose.


mpom, it wasn't meant as any critical comment towards jake. he may do whatever he wants with his body (but he better shave his face and not shave his legs;). as i said, i have too much free time today to ogle his pics.

and i agree that if it's a sugrery, the surgeon must have been an artist. and he gave us the jake we love

Anonymous said...

I don't see a difference, his nose always looked the same to me. Back to the topic, he looks sexy in those pics.

Heidi Steinborn said...

I don't care what anyone says.. He looks HOT and it has been sometime since anyone has seen him!! God has been good to us again! He is the sexiest man ALIVE!!!

Anonymous said...

camera angle and hair cut affect nose.

smurfette said...

sigh... what is it about this man? so sexy doing even the most mundane things (though voting is inherently sexy, i meant the walking, texting). the only way these pics could be hotter is if he were picking his nose =)

Anonymous said...

I thought it was long ago resolved in Jake fandom that he DID in fact have a nose job, and a really good one, but it keeps popping up as a question so maybe not. I used to have a link to a site called "bad plastic surgery" and in spite of the name, there was a little article about what GOOD plastic surgery Jake had had on his nose. It had pics that pretty much proved it to me. Granted he has grown into his features, but the pics were pretty convincing.

kaydee said...

in fact my question does not prove or disprove anything about jake. what i know about jake i know from this site, so don't mind my ramblings :)

mpom said...

anon 2:48
I know you were not being critical, just asking as I wanted to do myself for some time. Jake always looks so good in his photos either early in his career or later. The camera loves him, I don't think I have ever seen a bad picture of him, silly maybe but never bad or unflattering. yes he even looks good picking his lovely nose. I love that picture, really I do, makes him seem very normal. But don't ask me cause I think he can do no wrong.

In this last set of pictures: Love the longer hair and the five o'clock shadow is a nice change from clean shaven. Lately he seems more grown up to me, less boyish.