Monday, September 11, 2006

EMERGENCY SOCK WATCH

Okay, so I know a picture of Jake in close proximity with any other human being causes mass hysteria but can we focus on the REAL issues for a second here, people...NO SOCKS WITH SNEAKERS!

  • COLOUR: Harry Potter 'Cloak Of Invisibility' Clear
  • TYPE: A dwarf albino with a Geography degree who loves Bob Geldof and sushi aka NOT MY TYPE!!
  • HEIGHT: Heart breakingly irrelevent
  • OVERALL STATUS: Paris Hilton's dignity aka non-existent
No friggin' socks. Are you, like, friggin' taking the piss? I can't work with this, Gyllenhaal. You're impeding my creativity. You might as well come round and douse my keyboard with your over-priced Coffee Bean Latte.

60 comments:

Becky Heineke said...

Jake, honestly. Who doesn't wear socks with their tennis shoes?! Actually, I'm having trouble focusing on anything (socks and blonde Amazon included) due to the clinging nature of his grey t-shirt. Just kind of reminds why we do all this crazy shit...

Anonymous said...

OK. So his shoes kinda match her shoes. He has NO SOCKS ON. But, I have to say, Since I know so little about Texas and its local custom,is that what Texans wear to work???? I mean, she wouldn't be giving riding demonstrations in that costume would she, I can just see her showing Jake the latest bike and him riding close behind...
In my next life, I will be tall and thin.

Anonymous said...

Who is the Girl in the picture? It pains me to say this but they look good together. And yes he does need socks with those shoes.

Anonymous said...

Since I know so little about Texas and its custom, I need to ask: Is this what Texans wear to work?????
I mean Does she give biking demonstrations? I can just see her now, showing Jake the latest model cycle and him pedalling furiously...behind her.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Jake, if there's a pretty blonde in sight with her hipbones showing, then you are right there, aren't you?

Wonder how tall the daughter is, so that we can finally confirm that Jake's as tall as he claims to be. (I've read posts where people say he's not so tall, after all. I'd like to see that debunked at last.)

Anonymous said...

anon 10:21 & 10:22 here. My computer and this blog site are not getting along. Sorry for the doublish post, but the first didn't take.

Anonymous said...

Mama always told me that you have to wear socks with you tennies or your feet will stink.

Anonymous said...

nice anonymous, I used to wonder about Jake's height, too, but weeing him next to Heath, who is VERY tall at 6' 2" I believe Jake is 6' on the nose. When Heath made Patriot with Mel Gibson who is NOT tal, they fitted his costumes to give the illusion of a shorter Heath and he slouched and held his head down a lot.

Anonymous said...

I meant "seeing" not "weeing" LOLOL!!!

Anonymous said...

I think Jake looks a little shorter (an inch or two) then 6 feet. Has anyone here met him?

Anonymous said...

Has anyone here met him?

I stood next to him in Martha's Vineyard at his father's thing. I'm 5'7". He was easily 6'.

The girl in the pic is close to 6' tall as well according to her stepmom who posted said pic on DC.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 10:27 & 10:28, that's okay. Actually, it's a strangely appropriate typo. I'd probably wee, too, if I were next to Heath or Jake.

Model-tall, pretty blondes have an innate self-confidence. They don't wee.

Elena said...

Her legs aren't too armonized for my taste, but she has a mellow sweet face, in my blog I've compared her to Doris Day!

Anonymous said...

"I stood next to him in Martha's Vineyard at his father's thing. I'm 5'7". He was easily 6'."

Interesting, thanks felicia.

And I totally agree about her resembling Doris Day, kendra.

Nothing Really Matters said...

I must be the on;y stupid one here What the heel is DC???

Anonymous said...

^^^^^
It's the Dave Cullen forum, which was founded by a Colorado-based writer who wanted to talk about his obsession with the movie, "Brokeback Mountain." It became a fan site for the movie & includes message boards devoted to the movie's principals, including Jake. The latter board, called Jake's Eyelashes, is one of the most popular parts of the site.

As for the picture, it's the typical Jake wardrobe. A careless Calfornia preppie weekend look:

-A clinging gray t-shirt which flatteringly molds his manly form
-Cargo shorts, possibly smelly from being constantly worn
-A stunning example from the thousand-pair Jake G. sneaker collection
-Costly prescription sunglasses

Everyone: Dress as Jake for Halloween!

It's so easy to do!

Anonymous said...

This girl/woman (don't know how ols she is) wants to be a model, so she has to be pretty tall. Jake's def. 6' tall.

Anonymous said...

Nice anonymous, it might be easy to dress like Jake but to even remotely look like him? Don't give these ideas please, now I am going to see hundreds of sloppy guys in cargo shorts, geee, what a sight!

Anonymous said...

Simon Agent 002, Do your feet stink?

Anonymous said...

Let's be honest here...isn't this girl much more beautiful than KD? Seriously!

Anonymous said...

Her name is Colleen, she's almost 22, she's gorgeous and apparently not obsessed with Jake, but was impressed with how nice he seemed. She does have a boyfriend, though. All this according to her stepmom on DC. Maybe he should think about finding someone like that who's not in "the business."

Anonymous said...

Bet she has one of them sexy Texas accents too,y'all. Glad she has a boyfriend. Would love to be the proverbial fly on the wall when she tells him about her work day....and how she'll be waking up an extra two hours early to get to the shop to make sure "everything's OK." If I knew their address, I sent her boyfriend a copy of The Good Girl LOL!!!

Anonymous said...

Texans don't wear socks?

Anonymous said...

She's adorable and she does look good with him. But I can't keep my eyes off that grey t-shirt for long either! ;-)

Anonymous said...

She is prettier than Kirsten Dunst, but her teeth aren't very nice looking.

Anonymous said...

I think her teeth are fine. And I bet Jake hardly noticed them.

Anonymous said...

Note how Jake grabbed her by the waist and pulled her body to him, so that her bosom is crushed onto his chest. The scoundrel has no concern for our feeling at all. Boo hoo!

Anonymous said...

If not for the clenched fist I would think Jake was very comfortable with her. She is pretty and tall. They look good together. Makes me think he might just be happier with a sweet young girl who is not in the business. The starlet types are much too into themselves. Jake needs someone who can be into HIM. Probably hard for him to find in his world, given we scrutinize and tear to shreads every female who gets within 50 yards of him.
Poor Jake.
It's so ironic: KD walked away from him and there are so many who would kill for the opportunity to eat from the crumbs that fall from his fork.
That's Hollywood

Becky Heineke said...

This poor, random, completely anonymous person who did nothing more than get her picture taken with a celebrity. I wonder if she has any idea that half the Jake World is analyzing her. Or even that her picture is now all over the internet...

Anonymous said...

I was reading about this on the DC Forum. LOL! Apparently, she asked him if she could take his picture and he laughed and pulled her over and said, "Only if you're in it!" And I think her step-mom posted her the link to the discussion thread so she knows she's all over the internet. I wonder if her boyfriend ever surfs the internet. Probably not Jake type sites, eh?

Anonymous said...

I read somewhere that Lance owns this cycling shop. I wonder does he also do the hiring?

Mr. M said...

She is prettier than Kirsten Dunst ..

That ain't sayin' much ...

Rimshot!
Ouch!
Burn!
Sizzle!

Anonymous said...

By the way, I think Colleen's boyfriend took the picture.

JadziaDragonRider said...

I cannot stop laughing!

Also, the young lady in the pic is not a 'lasher but actually the step daughter of a 'lasher and I think it was reported that she thinks we're all insane lol (in a lovable way ... I hope) but she also reported that Jake was very nice, played with some swanky "members only" American Express and smelled like hotel soap. :)

salailama said...

omg, i usu try to make more intelligent comments beyond the gushing fangirl squees, but i just read the DC forum and he's so perfect!!

also caught some comments from pinkisthenewblog by ppl who saw jake at the game-- i liked this one and thought i'd share!

Hook'em! Met Jakey at the game. He's a cutie!!! Matt ditched him to go to the sidelines and Jake got lost going back up to the skybox!!! LOL
Jenn | Email | Homepage | 09.11.06 - 10:26 am | #

Anonymous said...

Just read the story on DC. What a great one and they sure do look cute together.

Anonymous said...

Jakey got LOST at the game???? See. Hanging out with Matthew and the big kids and they forget all about him. He should have a JW agent with him in Texas. That's all there is to it!

Anonymous said...

Jake, honestly. Who doesn't wear socks with their tennis shoes?!

*Raises hand*

Anonymous said...

There have been an awful lot of Jake-and-unknown-blonde-girl sightings. I wonder if they're all the same one or if Jake's just flirty with the fairer-haired ladies.

Brought this comment here from the last thread because it seemed to be in reference to this picture so just thought I'd respond to it here...

I think Jake's like that with everyone. When three of my friends met him (two boys, one girl), he was completely open with taking a picture with each of them alone and he stood close and threw his arm around each of them in all three pictures. My guy friends were impressed because other male actors they've met before don't tend to get as "touchy" as Jake did. I don't mean that as a comment on his sexuality but rather his comfort level around all types of people. I think he's just a friendly, touchy kind of person with all types of people (men, women, brunettes, blond(e)s, redheads, etc).

Anonymous said...

he stood close and threw his arm around each of them in all three pictures

Just to clarify because I don't know if that came out right but he took three separate pictures, one with each of them so they could each have their own separate picture with him where it would just be the two of them.

The Chemistry Guru said...

Squeeeeeee!!There are some pictures of jake with austin up on IHJ.

Anonymous said...

Maybe he's wearing short foot socks...

Anonymous said...

You know, with all the comments about Austin, it seems never to occur to anyone that he is often the "go-between" for Jake and Kristen.It's all very "high school-ish." Austin and Jake are friendly. They aren't BFF. They had a bit of a tiff when Austin took it upon himself to discuss Jake with the media. Jake didn't like it. Jake's close friends do not discuss his plans or his thoughts and feelings with the media. The old "those that know don't say; those that say don't know." I'm sure we can now look forward to the gossip blogs having fun with this one. Wonder how they'll read the 'body language' this time.

cina said...

Jake, honestly. Who doesn't wear socks with their tennis shoes?!

*Raises hand*


*Raises hand too* Every now and then.

Nothing Really Matters said...

Thanks nice anonymous

Anonymous said...

Jake's clenched fist could be reaction to the girl's wandering hand *LOL*

Anonymous said...

8:37, Sorry but I call bullshit. I don't see any reason to believe that the very innocent sounding comment would be enough to cause a "tiff" between them. Hell look at what Lance said about him and that didn't stop Jake from hanging out with him.

The Real Me said...

Ok ok calm down people, as a wearer of Nike kicks and similar shoes to Young JG, I have to say that the wearing of ankle socks is key to keeping in style and to avoid the "american tourist" look... *ducks flying keyboards*

no but for real, nike puts out some pretty mean ankle socks that don't rear their heads for things like sock watch and in due course, cause mass hysteria for the JW agents..

I'm pretty sure Naomi taught him to always wear socks with his shoes..... I hope.

Sam said...

It seems everyone is very excited about this on that DC forum, ive never seen that b4 it was very interesting, hard to keep up!! Her stepmom seems to think 'their lives will cross paths again' Makes me wonder.... I dont think id be too unhappy about that :) shes cute!

Anonymous said...

Britpopbaby, this had me chuckling. Excellent stuff. These kind of entries make Jake Watch refreshing and funny. Yay!

cina said...

I just can't get over how fucking handsome he is! I would go completely gaga if I got to have his gorgeousness that close to me! For fuck's sake - I'm going bananas just looking at the picture!! Shit Jake, you're seriously breaking my heart. GAAAAHH!!!

Anonymous said...

There was a theory proposed on one of the sites that Jake clenched his fist deliberately so that the muscles & vein would stand out more photogenically in his arm. (Basically, for the same reason that guys will do lots of pushups or pump a little iron before their bare arms are photographed.) Or maybe he's just tightly hanging onto his rental car keys, who knows?

Anonymous said...

^^^^
How charming of him. It's good to hear that he's pleasant & polite & not yet overly fatigued from his fans' attention.

Maybe he's not being recognized so much in Texas & he's living a relatively normal life. (Well, as normal as your life can be when you are very wealthy for someone your age & strikingly attractive & haven't got to show up at the office every morning at 8 AM.)

He's probably got it a little easier in his everyday life when he's in the interior of the country, rather than in L.A. & NY, because so many people still don't know who the hell he is. And maybe the papparazzi aren't following him around in Austin.

Anonymous said...

I think the "people-razzi" will make sure we see lots of Jake while he's hanging in Texas.

Anonymous said...

I think the "people-razzi" will make sure we see lots of Jake while he's hanging in Texas.

Jess said...

HIS ARMS, HIS ARMS!! Those unbelievably gorgeous arms...and yes, the t-shirt and that fine body of his underneath... Oh my fucking God, he's so beautiful I could cry...

Anonymous said...

MAYBE he has special socks on that just go over his toes?? what r they called? not ankle socks.

shes not very pretty....tall blonde and skinny..naaah. We could take her on any day.

Anonymous said...

Socks or NO socks..he still looks fine!!! Could do w/out the blonde in the pic. She is clearly pressing right up against him (yeah, yeah...I would do the same..prob more if I ever met him! lol) Once again?..what socks..all I see is a fine look'n man!

Pilarika said...

Kirsten Dunst is a very ugly girl...
does anybody know if Jake preffers tall girls, if it's like that i'm done :(

Pilarika said...

Kirsten Dunst is a very ugly girl...
does anybody know if Jake preffers tal girls, if it's like that i'm done :(