Thursday, September 21, 2006

BLATANT STALKING #8!


Um, what the hell small, plastic, thumb-sucking, baby doll? Poor Jake is just standing on the sidewalk demonstrating his bowling stance for us, and you've propped yourself up to watch in what may be the most blatant case of blatant stalking I've ever seen. And don't even deny that you're checking out his ass. Quite frankly, I don't think that's appropriate for someone your age, but seeing as how the sexiness of the Gyllenhaal sometimes overrides the laws of nature, I guess I can let it slide this time. But sucking your thumb? While staring intently at his lower regions? While leaning up against the window? The amateur nature of this operation is just shocking. I'm amazed you haven't drooled all over the glass. Just be thankful Jake is too intent on showing us his form to turn around...and next time, leave the stalking to the professionals.

34 comments:

pgcatz said...

Are these current photos? We are starving for some real Jake pictures. We miss You Jake!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow...that bowling stance sure is nice...showing of all the good stuff in a perfect angle.
then again....there is no bad angle when it comes to the sex am i right? Though i think we have a better view than the doll here.. :) Hah!

alexa said...

Sucking on your thumb while checking out Jake´s delicous ass is just kinky. But she is excused, being a baby and all. It would be worse if she were like, maybe, 25 years old and, you know, sucking on her thumb. :))

Simon Agent 002 said...

Compromising the morals of children.

Prophecy Girl said...

pgcatz, sadly no. This is from 2003 (or is it 2002? I can't remember). Jake seems to have disappeared yet again, damn him.

thesweetestone said...

well, if this is how she acts now, what will happen when she grows up? I think we have to eliminate the threat. Blow up the whole store. Before the baby grows and becomes unstopable...and hungry for jake...

The Bearded Lady said...

He even exudes powers over plastic baby mannequins.
and (shes?) too young to vote.

Anonymous said...

Stalking? Didn't even noticed that, I was more astonished that Jake was standing under the sale sign. Jake for sale? When? where? I must hurry.

cina said...

LOL!! That's all I have to say. :-)

Anonymous said...

Looks like he needs a bra in that picture.

Anonymous said...

^Are you crazy?
Those are handsome pectoral muscles .... he looks fine ;)

JoyceDavenport said...

Anon 3.11
Took the words right out of my mouth- can't beleive it but even man boobs look good on him...

Toni said...

hell yeh! thats all i can add to that.

smurfette said...

can someone check on justjared-- apparently the linked matt mcconaughey video has him talking about his new movie but he mentions JAKE and lance. i don't have audio =(. thanks!

PG, this pic is a great find. the doll is creeping me out!

The Bearded Lady said...

Do we have any lip reading agents?...Joyce?

mrs_dalloway said...

A baby doll!You can't trust anyone these days..

Quite frankly, I don't think that's appropriate for someone your age, but seeing as how the sexiness of the Gyllenhaal sometimes overrides the laws of nature, I guess I can let it slide this time.

Amen to that!Hilarious,PG!

Anonymous said...

Smurfette - As far as I can tell on one hearing, Matt didn't say anything about Jake. The interviewer mentioned cycling with Lance and Jake but Matt just told the interviewer how him and Lance met and how they got to be good friends.

Anonymous said...

NO,I'm not crazy anon 3.23

Kendra said...

How wouldn't she? Jake is leaning his arm in a intolerably sexy move, so the baby girl lost her composure and sucked her thumb as a sign of self-complacence.

ATD said...

Hey finally got one of these blogger thingy’s – now if only I could work it!

Sucking thumb and musing on why life is so unfair.
“I had to be a damn plastic doll…. wonder if I could get melted down and come back as a bike seat for that fine ass!”

ATD said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Agnes said...

Oh my God you plastic thumb-suckin doll stalking our boy... No let us do our job babydoll and we leave you to suck on you thumb... okay we have a deal?

Anonymous said...

Come on, Jake doesn't need a bra, lol. Those are beautiful pec muscles that are peaking through his shirt. :P

smurfette said...

thanks, anon!

pgcatz said...

I checked out the video over at Just Jared with Matthew McConadingy. He didn't have much to say about Jake. The interviewer asked him about keeping in shape and the pictures we see with Lance and Jake. He claims to know Lance real well but had little to say about Jake. He looked like crap. He is so old looking compared to our hot young studly Jake. I hope that helps Smurfette. You really didn't miss a lot.

Anonymous said...

Is he coming out of a Baby Shop?

SquallCloud said...

You are so awesome, Brit!

He looks so yum in that pic and I can't even see his beautiful face. I got it baaad!

nice anonymous said...

I think we have to eliminate the threat. Blow up the whole store. Before the baby grows and becomes unstoppable...and hungry for jake...

LOL at "unstoppable and hungry for Jake." Yeah, I'd call that a Code-Level Orange Threat from Unauthorized Female.

Anonymous said...

If I was that Baby Mannequinn I would
come alive like Kim Catrall and start LICKING THAT GLASS!

Yeah I'm sucking my thumb and staring unabashedly at your finey of a hiney Mr Gyllenhaal-No-Fury!

nice anonymous said...

Until I read the comments, I got overexcited when I first saw this, thinking that Jake had just been shopping for a baby gift & that we had some great news from Maggie. (When's her due date, anyway?)

Anonymous said...

I remember reading the baby is due in October. It stuck in my mind cos Matilda Ledger was born in October, so could be an expensive birthday month for Uncle Jake! :-)

phoebe said...

Hilarious!! These blatant stalking-cases just keep getting better and better!! LOL

anotherbrit said...

I too am struck by the sexual allure of the white polo top stretched tight across those well developed pecs. Stimulation indeed.

Donald said...

What exactly you're writing is a horrible mistake.
->