I apologize for the lack of Sunday Project-ness of last Sunday. I seem to recall there was craziness...and then the craziness got even more crazy as the week progressed. But here we are, back on track again! This week: The Issue Of Giving Shirts To Jake.
As frequent readers know, we here at Jake Watch are all about giving Jake clothing. In our efforts to watch him, we have become sadly aware that his financial state does not allow him to expand his wardrobe as often as he should, and it is our duty, as Jake Watchers, to help him with this unfortunate circumstance. So far, we have scraped together the means to send him a Boo shirt and possibly a Jake Watch shirt (not yet in existence). But why stop there? Here are a couple of other choices:
A. Reads: "I look like that one guy in that movie." This is a multi-purpose shirt, since Jake looks like lots of guys from lots of movies. He could wear it everyday and get a different response ("Hey, you do look like Jack Twist!" or "Hey, you do look like Donnie Darko!" or "Dude, weren't you in Spider-Man?"), which is cool 'cause Jake sometimes wears his shirts lots of days in a row (Reason #746 Why We Love Him).
B. Reads: "Sorry for being so fucking sexy." At first I really liked this one but then I started wondering. Should Jake really should be apologizing to us? True, his sexiness has resulted in a lot of lost time daydreaming and ruined movie theater seats (excessive drool) and maybe even too much time on the internet (although, really, can you spend too much time on the internet??). But it's not his fault he's so fucking sexy. So we could go to the other extreme...
C. Reads: "To: Women; From: God." Self-explanatory. And honest. I know I personally take his existence as conclusive proof of an All-Powerful Divine Being...but I think we should ask that they change "Women" to "Humanity."
D. Reads: "You Discussed Me." Hmmmm. True. We have, in fact, "discussed" Jake. In great detail. And likely will continue to do so. This one has personal significance as I see this as validation for that one time when Jake and I were hanging out like the awesome BFF's that we are and he said, "You discussed me!" in reference to this blog, but some people overheard who totally did not understand our bond and next thing you know, everyone's like, OMG, Jake hates Prophecy Girl, which is so not true and I really wish people would learn to distinguish their homophones.
And E. Jake's gift to us, in return for our kindness. Reads: "Restraining orders are just another way of saying I LOVE YOU." See? I knew Jake had a special place in his heart for each and every one of us. Thanks, Jake!
(Also, thanks to T-shirt Hell for providing me with the means to create this post.)
But seriously, guys, if you can't wait for these babies to ship and then land on the back of the Gyllenhaal, why not dress him yourself? In the virtual world, all things are possible...
(I'm blaming my new addiction to virtual Jake on jla ;)).
And everyone who is sick of Lance Armstrong, stop reading. For the rest of you, read more about the Jake-as-Lance movie rumor here and here. Most interesting...