Saturday, July 22, 2006

THE RETURN OF THE SUNDAY PROJECT...AGAIN

I apologize for the lack of Sunday Project-ness of last Sunday. I seem to recall there was craziness...and then the craziness got even more crazy as the week progressed. But here we are, back on track again! This week: The Issue Of Giving Shirts To Jake.

As frequent readers know, we here at Jake Watch are all about giving Jake clothing. In our efforts to watch him, we have become sadly aware that his financial state does not allow him to expand his wardrobe as often as he should, and it is our duty, as Jake Watchers, to help him with this unfortunate circumstance. So far, we have scraped together the means to send him a Boo shirt and possibly a Jake Watch shirt (not yet in existence). But why stop there? Here are a couple of other choices:

A. Reads: "I look like that one guy in that movie." This is a multi-purpose shirt, since Jake looks like lots of guys from lots of movies. He could wear it everyday and get a different response ("Hey, you do look like Jack Twist!" or "Hey, you do look like Donnie Darko!" or "Dude, weren't you in Spider-Man?"), which is cool 'cause Jake sometimes wears his shirts lots of days in a row (Reason #746 Why We Love Him).

B. Reads: "Sorry for being so fucking sexy." At first I really liked this one but then I started wondering. Should Jake really should be apologizing to us? True, his sexiness has resulted in a lot of lost time daydreaming and ruined movie theater seats (excessive drool) and maybe even too much time on the internet (although, really, can you spend too much time on the internet??). But it's not his fault he's so fucking sexy. So we could go to the other extreme...

C. Reads: "To: Women; From: God." Self-explanatory. And honest. I know I personally take his existence as conclusive proof of an All-Powerful Divine Being...but I think we should ask that they change "Women" to "Humanity."


D. Reads: "You Discussed Me." Hmmmm. True. We have, in fact, "discussed" Jake. In great detail. And likely will continue to do so. This one has personal significance as I see this as validation for that one time when Jake and I were hanging out like the awesome BFF's that we are and he said, "You discussed me!" in reference to this blog, but some people overheard who totally did not understand our bond and next thing you know, everyone's like, OMG, Jake hates Prophecy Girl, which is so not true and I really wish people would learn to distinguish their homophones.

And E. Jake's gift to us, in return for our kindness. Reads: "Restraining orders are just another way of saying I LOVE YOU." See? I knew Jake had a special place in his heart for each and every one of us. Thanks, Jake!

(Also, thanks to T-shirt Hell for providing me with the means to create this post.)

But seriously, guys, if you can't wait for these babies to ship and then land on the back of the Gyllenhaal, why not dress him yourself? In the virtual world, all things are possible...

(I'm blaming my new addiction to virtual Jake on jla ;)).

And everyone who is sick of Lance Armstrong, stop reading. For the rest of you, read more about the Jake-as-Lance movie rumor here and here. Most interesting...

42 comments:

Kendra said...

That's a true collection line of shirts, Pg, my favourite is (concerning our stalking mission)the one reads: "Restraining orders are just another way of saying I LOVE YOU." ;)

~DKBB~ said...

The t-shirts are BRILLIANT, PG! Ever single one of them is stellar!

moonbeams said...

Love the T-shirts, PG! Totally!

cina said...

He should have one of each!

Kendra said...

Floyd Landis won the Tour de France and gave some gratitude words to Lance Armstrong! Today the Tour has finished its course with the texan cyclist victory: arrival on the Champs Elysées Avenue in Paris July 23 2006.

cina said...

^^ Yeah, I was watching it on TV, and I couldn't help thinking "I wonder if Jake is somewhere in that crowd"!

Nothing Really Matters said...

Do they have a I LOVE YOU PG shirts?? Jake might wanna buy one!

Anna said...

I agree with Cina - he should have one of each. I can't choose, they are all perfect!!

Great Sunday project, PG!

moonbeams said...

Could you do one more? With the JW banner that says :"Jake Watch....because someone has to keep a damned eye on me!" ???

Elle said...

With the JW banner that says :"Jake Watch....because someone has to keep a damned eye on me!" ???

Totally agree, moonbeams! That's the one we send Jake as a birthday present from JW, of course. I'm sure we could have it ready by December! :) I'm sure we'd find a volunteer to make the delivery ...

wesntia said...

Heheh, the one that reads "I look like that one guy in that movie" is fucking brilliant. Oh, too good.

Katie of Sweden said...

Oh I can't chose from these.. All are great!! And let me say that I apprieciate JW keeping such a high standard.. not sending advertising/promotion T-shirts to him ;)

Katie of Sweden said...
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phoebe said...

I have to agree with you there, wesntia. The "I look like that one guy.." one is frickin awesome! LMAO!!

phoebe said...

Oh, forgot. Brilliant PG! As always!

Anonymous said...

These are really great - I especially like the one "To: Women/Humanity From: God" ;-)

gin said...

I love all of these shirts! I, too, think he needs one of each. :) Though if I had to pick only one I think I'd go with To Women, From God. If Jake had wings and walked around in a white loincloth playing a little harp...I'd have no problem taking that as reality.

cina said...

If Jake had wings and walked around in a white loincloth playing a little harp...I'd have no problem taking that as reality.

Now that image made me LMAO!!!!

zoo said...

It's got to be C. for me!

These are great, PG, good work.

Anonymous said...

A report about Jake being with Lance and Co. in a Paris hotel watching the end of the Tour de France.

Anonymous said...

From the article above:

Wearing a sleeveless T-shirt, camouflage shorts and sneakers, the 35-year-old Texan was just back from a run and looked fit enough to compete in the race he once dominated. Yet telltale signs that those days were over were scattered on every side: from the cold beer and plate of pastries sitting on a table nearby, to the collection of friends, including actor Jake Gyllenhaal, who gathered around a TV set and insisted on switching channels in time to watch Tiger Woods win the British Open.

The Bearded Lady said...

Excuse me Lance?...do you mind? Can I turn the channel to "Spongebob Square Pants"?....it's all in FRENCH!

SquallCloud said...

Oh the second and third teir sports I would learn to pretend to like for my Jakey!

moonbeams said...

I'm having terrible withdrawal pains. I've watched PROOF three times in the past 48 hours. I just finished watching DONNIE DARKO for the umteenth time and, God help me, THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW is coming on and I don't want to watch it again. I really don't.
When is Jakey coming home?????
Did anyone ever find Ingmar?

gin said...

Donnie Darko is my favorite movie for Jake withdrawal. :) Yeah...he needs to get his tight, sweet, muscle-icious little ass back to the states. ;)

The Bearded Lady said...

this wk. lance is comming back

SquallCloud said...

So all these mags are reporting it. Is jake officially with Nat? One unamed insider (read an intern at the magazine) said that Jake adores her and thinks she's an angel that can do no wrong. I thought I was your angel, Jakey! *cries*

gin said...

One unamed insider (read an intern at the magazine) said that Jake adores her and thinks she's an angel that can do no wrong.

But...but...how can that be? He said the same thing about me last week! Jacob, how could you?

kokodee said...

I'm having terrible withdrawal pains. I've watched PROOF three times in the past 48 hours. I just finished watching DONNIE DARKO for the umteenth time and, God help me, THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW is coming on and I don't want to watch it again. I really don't.
When is Jakey coming home?????
Did anyone ever find Ingmar?


I totally know how you feel!
Jarhead has been inside my dvd player for the past week, and my computer has played host to that you know-what-scene in BBM, for weeks now.
Like, when is he coming back to our screens? Whats the latest on Zodiac?

jla said...

PG....these T-shirts are hella funny!! My favorite has to be the "Gift" shirt! For some reason that shirt elicits fond memories of the best scene ever filmed in cinematic history... the santa hat dance!! Dayum is it getting warm in here or is it just me?

mrs_dalloway said...

"I look like that one guy in that movie" and "To:women; From:God" TOUCHE!! These are two of the best lines I've ever seen!! Brilliant,PG!

OT,just to share another of Hollywood's shocking discoveries..oh,yes..it's the Gyllenhaal as one of the Hotties over there..and if you go to the next hottie,you'll really find yourself in a coma..Yes,ladies. James 'goodbye my lover' Blunt.

http://movies.msn.com/movies/hollywoodhotties?GT1=7701&photoidx=3

(maybe it's not news,but I have just found it..:)

JoyceDavenport said...

I definitely want a 'restraining order shirt'. My fav for Jake is the 'present from God' - I agree though it should be changed to 'humanity' there are a lot of males with a big crush on Jake too!

thesweetestone said...

Haha, they are great.
Id go for "to:Humanity From:God" for jake to wear...

...cause then i saw his face, now im a beliver... :-)

JoyceDavenport said...
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JoyceDavenport said...

Shocking news just in - Jake is losing a 'best bod' competition to Matthew McConaghy- aaaaargh!

Vote here:

http://intouchweekly.hollywood.com/poll/question.asp?poll_id=222

SquallCloud said...

Wow! Jake is getting dusted by Mat McC... Damn that mainstream beefcake! I have nothing against Mathew but in no way is he hotter than The Sex! Jakey is so cute and articulate and funny. Mat's just another sexy face! They're just picking him because he's a bigger star. *sigh*

SquallCloud said...

Had an LOL moment on another page and had to share. Jake has a very clean cut kind of demeanor. Comes off as kind of a dork ... A sexy dork but a dork nonetheless but I find it so interesting that he's friends with two people whose names have been so associated with excessive drinking. Recently read "Mathew McDrunkahey" and long ago - maybe here - read Kirsten Drunkst. Very funny to me. Now Natalie doesn't have any such debauchery attached to her name. A romantic fit? Perhaps. Oh yah! He also hangs out with Jamie Foxx doesnt' he? Is he Hollywood's designated driver?

moonbeams said...

Jake has the absolutely most perfect body I have ever seen! One thing gives me concern: All this biking. I don't want Jakey to get too lean. I think there's a "biker's body" and I like Jakey's exactly the way it is:
Perfectly proportioned.

heddaparsons said...

The restraining order t-shirt would fit me to a T!!

msdonniedarko said...

what a cool little link i had fun dressing jake myself! hahahah

Linna said...

It's obviously not sunday anymore, but what a great sunday project PG!! Hilarious!! I'd go for the pressie shirt, "to: humanity, from: God" Awesome!! It would take some guts to wear it though, and the only one who could pull it of is of course Jakey!!

Anonymous said...

Excellent, love it!
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