Wednesday, July 19, 2006

JAKE APPARENTLY HAVING MORE FUN IN FRANCE THAN WE ANTICIPATED

Hot off the presses, ladies and gentlemen, Jake Gyllenhaal went clubbing in France. I repeat, JAKE GYLLENHAAL WENT CLUBBING IN FRANCE. I am in shock and so unbelievably, incredibly, out-of-control jealous of everyone who was in said club in France that I think I might vomit. I'm so flabbergasted by this news, I am physically unable to come up with a clever visual for this story. Mentally, I'm coming up with all sorts of visuals, but I don't see how they're going to manifest themselves here. Thank you and you may continue with your day.

Did I mention he went CLUBBING IN FRANCE?!

P.S. I was so crazed by this news I forgot to say it came from the lovely Katie of Sweden. That is all.

UPDATE: Could this be the venue in question?? (If so, I apologize for that completely unfounded "wild mountain girls" comment I made.)

46 comments:

Nothing Really Matters said...

OMG Jake! We also have fab clubs here in England! Hint, hint!

Elena said...

I think it's about time to take that visit to my family in Toulouse.

Anonymous said...

how about a full report, Katie of Sweden??

Jake doesn't know the best clubs are here in London!

mrs_dalloway said...

I would have been comfortable if he went clubbing in any place BUT France! This is the place that brought Moulin Rouge to the world.I mean, naked women dancing and..well..you know..being sexy,let's put it that way.
Jake,you better be GOOD. Don't mess around while Britpop is away,you young stud!

Anonymous said...

Look. I heard that too. It's an ancient ritual associated with the Tour de France from back when everyone raced in donkey carts through the Alps before the invention of the bicycle. At night, all the macho racers would get together, and they all had clubs and they stood in a circle and chanted and danced around a bonfire..with clubs...hence, clubbing. I'm so heartened by the fact that Jakey is so culturally aware. And, ya know, it's a really big honor for them to include Les garcons Americaines into this special activity. Does anyone know when Jakey is coming home? I think he needs to come home.

Becky Heineke said...

^^^ Exactly. He's off with wild mountain girls looking to show him a good time. I don't know if that's acceptable. I should probably go to France and rescue him.

Anonymous said...

OK, I'm really happy for Jacob that he is having fun, but I think he's going a little overboard...I don't want him to be traumatized by half-naked, gyrating women. Unless I'm one of them. Come home, Jake! :)

Anonymous said...

this isn't the first time Jake's been to a club.

Nothing Really Matters said...

Hello msdonniedarko.

Hey I've just booked a ticket to france i'll be back with Jake soom. Don't worry evryone!

Becky Heineke said...

NRM, we're relying on you!!! ;)

The Real Me said...

"Hell Yeah!!! It's about time Jakey had some fun like a normal person in their twenties!! I wonder if Jake dances or is he the type that just hangs in the back, bobs his head and people watches in the club. He seems like a chill ass person to hang out with! I'd kick it with him!!"

Definately agree wit you there jla girl.. I wanna see him shake-that-thing tho.. or maybe I can shake mine towards him..

ahem yeah ok.

Anonymous said...

Besides, what about the whole non-shaving thing they've got in France? Does our Jakey like 'em hairy?
Well, in Europe they wax, they don't shave...

Anonymous said...

Hmm...if that is the Igloo in question... Looks like the only place Jake could shake his groove thing would be up on one of those wooden tables all the while fabulously avoiding the french bread and brie.

I could totally picture him up there...red wine in hand...tipsy... singing Edith Piaf songs with Michel, the elderly and slightly obese owner of the restaurant. Anyone want to join me on my planet? It's really quite fun ;)

Anonymous said...

Later in the evening, a relaxed-looking Armstrong and Donnie Darko and Brokeback Mountain star Jake Gyllenhaal joined the clubbers, including procycling’s editorial team, at the Igloo, an establishment the American would certainly not have visited on his previous Tour-related visits to the resort.

Anonymous said...

^^ Yes,Lance wouldn't have visited Michel to sing songs because he would have been in bed dead to the world...dreaming of tomorrow's mountain climb.... These Tour de France bicylists are NUTS! Yet they make me want to get my bike out of storage.... Such a dilema!

JadziaDragonRider said...

I too am ill with a seething all consuming jealousy. Why doesnt' that boy ever go clubbing in Philly, damnit!

Anonymous said...

All those french bitches that don't shave their pits better have kept their hands off of Jake!!

Anonymous said...

^^^ yeah c'mon European agents! It's time to hike/bike/skip up those French Alps to get a Jake sighting! Don't forget the digital camera and the sunblock!

Anonymous said...

Got this from a thread on IHJ. Apparently it was reported on the E! Channel that Heath and Michelle just bought a house next door to Kirsten Dunst. Who else is already a neighbor of Kirsten's? None other that Matt McConaughey! Uncanny coincidence or maybe there's a connection to Jake there somewhere?

Anonymous said...

^^There all gonna be just one big happy family...Jake can run from house to house on holidays...;)

Anonymous said...

I thought Kirsten was moving? ....as to where I don't know ...but some gossip site made a point of her loading her own boxes...with no help from Jake. along with a pic of her carrying one.

Anonymous said...

^No those were pics of Kirsten moving BACK into her house after returning from the Spiderman 2 shoot in NYC. She's still living in the same Hollywood Hills place she bought 2 years ago, which was recently renovated.

Anonymous said...

I remember reading that Jake used to live w/her there. Maybe he still does but it's on the down low?

Anonymous said...

^^^ YES! Get outta there Kiki so Jake can move in an be neighbours to Heath and Michelle! That would totally ROCK!

Anonymous said...

^I think what people are saying is that maybe Jake is already living there and that's why Heath and Michelle chose to be next door. Plus that's how Jake might've gotten to know Matt...?

Anonymous said...

Isn't Matthew living on the beach in Malibu? And not in the Hollywood Hills? I think he used to live in the Hills.

Anonymous said...

He probably has more than one place. Lots of celebs do.

JadziaDragonRider said...

The conversation has taken a nasty turn! >:o( No, Jake does not live with that woman, damnit!

Please oh Please oh Please let me be right.

Becky Heineke said...

^^^ There's no way.

Anonymous said...

Well according to reports yesterday KD and her boyfriend Andy what ever his name is,made it official.They are an item and have been for some time.

Anonymous said...

Kirsten Dunst Secretly Dating SNL Funnyman Andy Samberg
July 13, 2006 09:51:16 GMT
by Peter Rooley

Media reports in the US are dominated with that of Kirsten Dunst secretly dating "Saturday Night Live" funnyman Andy Samberg.

Has the actress already found her new love? We report, you decide.

Dunst and Samberg became close while the movie star was filming the highly anticipated "Spider-Man 3" in New York City.

Then "They've been seeing each other for a while, but it's under the radar", so a source close to Samberg tells American publication Us Weekly.

What's more both of them have been regularly spotted out and about near Samberg's West Village neighborhood. Also the source revealed further that Samberg won over Dunst with his quirky sense of humor, saying "She just thinks he's really funny. It's why all the girls like Andy."

http://aceshowbiz.com/news/view/00004458.html

Anonymous said...

There was a report on Sky TV in France that there was a mini-riot up in the Alps at some nightclub when a bunch of women stormed this place and started wrestling spandex shorts off of these biker guys and trying to put Santa hats on them. "A very appealing garcon Americaine was seen standing on a table wildly gyrating his hips, screaming"Whooo Hooo! Christmas in July!!! Vive le Bastille!" A direct quote. I'm sorry. I was just trying to channel myself to the French Apls so I wouldn't have to be concerned with who Heath & Michelle's neighbors are. I am really happy for Kiki and this Andy guy. I think agents should be dispatched to take many photos of them together. Passionate kissing photos. And they should be plastered all over the internet and in magazines and newspapers all over the world. So that EVERYONE can see them. And perhaps tape them to a bathroom mirror and look at them every single day.

JadziaDragonRider said...

US Weekly is notoriously inaccurate... but I choose to believe them because its been reported by other sources a bunch of times ... and also because I want Dunst out of the picture. I would like to see Jake with Christina Ricci... or maybe Zoi Saldano

cina said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

"US Weekly is notoriously inaccurate... "

Exactly. Just because other sites pick up a rumor and run w/it doesn't make it true. Look at how often it's been done w/Jake in the past, linking him w/everyone he's seen sharing space with.

I went digging into this Kiki/Andy stuff cause I wanted verification once and for all that she and Jake are over, but what I found seems to indicate that the Kiki/Andy rumor is a case of mistaken identity. One of Kiki's old school friends bears a huge resemblance to Samberg, hence the liklihood that people mistook him for Andy. This I got from the co-webmaster of Kiki's website. There are even pics of the friend hanging w/Kiki and her girlfriends in New York this past June while she was filming Spiderman 2. (There were reports then too of Kiki/Andy sightings.) And there was a bogus rumor that got spread that she flew to Vancouver during her Spidey shoot to visit Andy for a week on the set of his movie. Problem was she was photographed nearly every day in NY and Andy's movie hadn't even started filming at the time. So to date there has been no irrefutable evidence that this rumor is true. Kirsten has not confirmed it, and in fact has said that it doesn't matter what rumors get made up about who she's dating "as long as the person you're with knows the truth". And hasn't Jake said something before along the same lines? In fact the more I looked into it and at Kiki's pap pics the more I realized that she hasn't been photographed w/any significant other looking type besides Jake since their "official" breakup in July 2004. And if you read her interviews....well let's just say it actually makes it seem MORE likely not less that she and Jake may still have something going on.

Nothing Really Matters said...

What's with all the Anonymous??? Put a name, any name?

The Real Me said...

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth..

Anonymous said...

NOT KIKI, NOOOOOOO ...

Anonymous said...

They are going to be 90yrs old....and I swear someone will still believe they are reuniting

Anonymous said...

I want my old Jake back. The Jake who was dumped by Kirsten Dunst for being a stay-at-home kinda boy in contrast with her getting-out-there attitude.

I want the Jake who doesn't say he prefer sports over films. Who rather reads a book than picks up girls with Lance Armstrong. Who is friends with down-to-Earth Heath, not hyper Texan Lance Armstrong. What the fuck is happening to our boy?

mrs_dalloway said...

LOL, Anon 5.08! Perfectly true. But since we don't have any actual facts, we have nothing to do but give scenarios..Kirsten being in them is just a little more salt and pepper..ok..more pepper..and paprika..

The Real Me said...

I might join you wtb..
At least we're safe from having a premature aneurysm from stress..

Anonymous said...

Actually...I've been thinking....maybe it's a good idea for Jakey to hang with Lanceinfrance. I think they ought to stay there for a while.I saw some pics of Poor Matt doing yoga and cavorting with...himself on the beach. He was covered, absolutely coated with sand and sweat...wallowing in it under the burning sun. It was as if a madness has overtaken him, a desire to punish himself. He was writhing and twisting and his eyes were MAD with loneliness and rejection. Heartbreaking stuff. And I felt so helpless! It's time for a good neighbor to intervene.Someone who likes to party as much as he does. Someone who can provide him with the solace he probably needs. I think we need to dispatch an agent to Kiki. I think she and Matt will hit it off! I want to see LOTS od pictures of Kiki spending quality time with Matt. I will send the best ones to France....meanwhile, I'm almost done printing the first ten thousand t-shirts with the Kiki Loves Matt slogan on them. I'm going to send my first shipment to France in a couple of days. There are some waitresses at this club in the Alps who've agreed to distribute them free and all they want is a couple of Santa hats. Said Le Garcon Americaine likes to use them for dancing.
I'm just trying to think strategically here.

Anonymous said...

Aww wtbgirl, don't leave us! I like having another NY person here. Man, I am bummed to see people leaving the Jakedome because of Lance/McBongo. :( Jake is still a good guy and I don't think he has changed in a negative way just because he has spent some time with those guys. I think he is smart enough to have a mind of his own and wants to have an experience of a lifetime at the Tour. Nothing wrong with that, imo.

Anonymous said...

And people think he's gay. LOL. I saw a lot of pap pics with him leaving night clubs with girls. He is very straight i think.

Becky Heineke said...

No, wtbgirl! You can't leave us! I'm trying to be sensitive to those of you (most of you?) who are sick of Jake-Lance-Matt. I'm getting there myself. Unfortunately, there is a lot of news about them right now and not a lot of news about anything else. :(