"Yeah, I know. I was like, Dad, just tell them you like to grow Bonsai trees and watch reruns of Judge Judy to relax. They'll find out anyway."
Yep, those are the only two rational explanations for whats happening here.
pic from IHJ
COLOR: White, with snazzy yellow trim.
TYPE: Decidedly athletic.
HEIGHT: Ankle/shin hybrid (stretching to somewhere neatly in the middle).
OVERALL STATUS: Dangerously professional-looking! If I didn't know any better, I'd say Jake knew what he was doing!
(Oh, baby does he look good leaning up against that bike. We should totally start a Helmet Watch.)
You know, I didn't even think about the possibility of this being my last post until I started writing it. Dammit. I should have come up with something more...better. I guess I could leave you with one last look at the deity otherwise known as...
JAKE GYLLENHAAL: THE MULTITASKER!
My God! This isn't even human! He's talking on the phone WHILE balancing on one leg WHILE holding not one drink but two (with straws!!!) WHILE holding his car keys WHILE wearing the best jeans I've ever seen in my entire life!! (It looks like he might be trying to show us some tongue, but that might be the straw that broke the camel's back.) The real question is, how did he open the door?!Amazing! Seconds later, he's cleared the doorway, hasn't spilled a drop, has flawlessly continued his conversation, and, because he knew we were watching, has flashed us the tiniest glimpse of his boxers! Wait...is he about to use his shoulder to close the car door? Please excuse me. I'm gonna have to lie down. (Seriously, that's pretty damned impressive.)
TYPE: Do my eyes deceive me? Or do those appear to be dressy?
HEIGHT: Indeterminate due to pant length; we can only assume they're knee high.
OVERALL STATUS: Sadly, geriatric. It's as if he's aged 100 years from the shin down.
101013350815I was looking through the most recent pictures of Jake Gyllenhaal and Lance Armstrong in France and I ran across a photo taken while the two of them were discussing postmodern trends in the use of sunglasses as items of both convenience and fashionable necessity in the celebrity populace of developed nations. Either that, or they were talking about biking.
"I had to leave Boo and Atticus behind. You know, they were very upset but it's a long ride and, you know, it was just a decision that had to be made. I hear Boo's MySpace page is taking off, though, which is really exciting for me personally. You know, as his owner.""Aw, man. Lance was all like, 'Slow down, dude!' when we were going up that mountain. I didn't even care, though. I'm not going to let him win just to make him feel good."
More links for anything and everything you would ever want to know about our man in France, including the news that all that cycling isn't for nothing; Jake is training for a movie. Extra, extra, read all about it:
And more pics here! You'll have to scroll down a bit. And ignore the hearts.
MINUTES LATER...another update!