Saturday, June 10, 2006

JAKE SUPPORTS ENGLAND

Jake Watch can exclusively reveal that Hollywood actor and Puggle activist Jake Gyllenhaal has contraversially abandoned his home nation to support England in this year's FIFA World Cup tournament. A source close to the star said, "Jake thinks that the USA can only go so far in this competition and has abandoned the ship before it has even started to sink. Everyone is shocked by his decision". Gyllenhaal's friends and family are reported to be standing by him through this difficult period but people around them say they are not entirely happy. "Stephen and Naomi thought they knew Jake, they thought they'd raised him better than this. I'm not sure how long they can keep up this show," said a friend close to the family. There has been no offical word from Gyllenhaal's people but sources say that Jake himself was overheard saying, "britpop would fucking kill me if I supported another team plus David Beckham is like, my hero."

97 comments:

winterbird said...

LOL!!!
but we (the Brits) gave him his well-deserve BAFTA, surely I hope he has a soft spot for us?

but then... Poppa might want him to support Sweden too?

Kokoro /from Germany said...

HA!! you wish!!;)

phoebe said...

well, not that I'm that in to sports, but I DO think he ought to show some love and support for the Swedish team!!

britpop, hilarious as ever.

The Bearded Lady said...

Can you see his ball He can always score with me!....Ta Ta dears

queenscroft said...

Well supporting England instead of the USA seems sensible, if not patriotic. Personally I'd cheer for anyone rather than the USA. But I come from Australia and we don't have a chance so I might have to join Jake and barrack for Mother England. God save our Queen, etc

queenscroft said...

PS I sincerely hope David Beckham is not Jake's hero because Becks seems pretty dumb to me.

Simon Agent 002 said...

Please observe a moment of silence for all of us trapped in this Bush nightmare... He stole the election folks. 1) Last election had the largest turn out since 1968 (Vietnam war yr so it was large turnout too)...That normally means people are motivated to go to the polls and vote for change.... 2) In Ohio ...in the democratic areas there were fewer voting machines...long lines, in rain ...people waited for hrs to vote...Exit polling done showed Kerry in the lead....There has never been an exit poll so different from the results to date... Bush is a man with no shame. And I wouldn't put anything pass him!

Nothing Really Matters said...

Latest sources tell me that as we speak Jake is currently in the pub awaiting the kick off.

queenscroft said...

Yay for Bush bashing and pubs!

Simon Agent 002 said...

I just noticed they are broadcasting it live here. who knew... ?

wesntia said...

Bush is such an ass, Victoria Beckham is the scariest woman alive and I don't care for football but I'd support Sweden if I cared.

That being said, England's team shirt (or whatever it's called) is by far the hottest, so I'm glad you "found" a picture of Jakey wearing it.

jack nasty girl said...

go England!

Anonymous said...

Brits that pic of jake is hilarious - you can almost see the bolts in his neck!

sunnyweather said...

BPB, you are HILARIOUS.I'm going to support English team too, since my homeland team plays so badly that I'm totally ashamed of admitting where I come from.I'm not ashamed of my country but of our football team. Let's say I'm from somewhere in Europe:)

Kendra said...

He has many points in commmon with British people: good taste in music, a bit fashion-victim, a great sense of irony, including facing paps and now sports, he is a healthy guy after all.

cina said...

Sweden - Trinidad Tobago in about 8 minutes!!!! Jake better show some love for the Swedish team! ;-)

And of course - GO ENGLAND later tonight as well! :-)

Kris700 said...

I really hope that his neck was supposed to be badly photoshopped!

Anonymous said...

3 points to England and hopefully 3 points to Sweden.

Anonymous said...

It's coming home!
For the first time I'm watching in the States and the ABC commentators are terrible. I hope Jake and Co have satellite tv and can watch English coverage. Britpopbaby, I envy you...
- jj

mrs_dalloway said...

Sunnyweather, don't be ashamed to confess where you're from. My homeland team didn't even make the qualifications! :)) So I'm not very nervous about this championship..But I do have my favourits ;)

Prophecy Girl said...

Dude, Bush-bashing? Could I love this place any more than I already do?! That's like my favorite subject! I support Jake in his endeavor to not support America. I have a Manchester United scarf hanging in my room, but I really don't know anything about soccer. I just thought it made me look cool.

cina said...

Wtf, how stupid am I?! I thought England was playing later tonight, but instead they played before Sweden... How could I miss that?! Anyways, seems England won though -congrats! We're still playing Trinidad Tobago, no goals so far... :-(

Nothing Really Matters said...

Prophecy Girl its called football not soccer. You guys just had to come up with something different!

mrs_dalloway said...

I have always wondered what's the difference between soccer and football..So there isn't any?
You Swedish, is there a player in your team that has the name "Eric Clapton"??..I keep hearing smth like that and I can't get rid of 'Layla' now..

Ivy said...

Hurrah for England! I'm not a football fan but I am a patriot, so I thoroughly enjoy the World Cup. Britpopbaby, I love that photo of Jake because his head is far too big for his body, a physical quirk that is in keeping with the entire England team. Talented boys but total potato heads, each and every one of 'em.

Nothing Really Matters said...

No as far as i know! Then again i'm not a big footbal fan! They also have american football which is like rugby.

Agnes said...

WTF?? Sweden - Trinidad Tobago 0-0. :(

cina said...

mrs_dalloway - "Eric Clapton"?? Hmm.. I have no idea who that could be! We have one guy called Erik Edman, could it possibly be him?

Agnes - I agree! 0-0. WTF?!

Simon Agent 002 said...

Oh I owned a Volvo once ....so im partial to Sweden

kokodee said...

England 1-Paraguay 0
I thought the south americans were meant to me good?
Anyway, well done england, couldn't care less but well done all the same.

On a sombre note, our unholy alliance with the swedish ends this summer and I predict that england will be going downhill without sven- the guy had a lot of problems but he was our finest f***kn' coach ever!

cina said...

Actually there's a huge difference between football and soccer. For example, in soccer you're NEVER allowed to touch the ball with your hands, except from the side of the field if the ball has gone over the side line (I have no idea what that is called in English, but in Swedish it's "inkast"). And of course the goalie.

And good luck without Svennis, England! It's a shame how he's been treated by the British press really. :-(

mrs_dalloway said...

hmmm...Or the one that commented was having some trouble with pronouncing that fellow's name, or my mind is gone. I would have understood to hear 'Jake Gyllenhaal' instead of a player's name, but this has no explanation.I'm going to wash my ears.And my brain.

kokodee said...

WTF?? Sweden - Trinidad Tobago 0-0.

Haha, time to pass over those martinis simon, the swedes must be shakin'and stirrin' after the result so far!

Simon Agent 002 said...

Yes everybody grab a drink by all means...

cina said...

Simon - you're practically a Swede then! ;-)

And besides the Swedish heritage, Jake's first car was a maroon Volvo. We should give him a honorary Swedish citizenship really! lol

Simon Agent 002 said...

I admire their construction built like a tank!...no I do love Swedish style.... starting with Garbo to Ikea...lol

mrs_dalloway said...

@cina: That rule with the non-touching the ball with the hands stands for football,too.:D
Oh, congrats Swedish! it's a good result..at least you're not on minus! Plus, you have dominated the game..it just wasn't your karma for tonight.

cina said...

Mrs_dalloway - are we talking about the same "football"? I thought we were talking about American football, where the players are allowed to run with the ball in their hands. Soccer is the American word for European football as far as I know. Correct me if I'm wrong - please!

I'm confused!

mrs_dalloway said...

Oh, God! so am I..I'm going into Google search now..Be right back!

gummybug said...

That was terrible, I hope Sweden can do better from now on.

Just something I've wondered about for a while... but why do we never hear or talk about Jake's Russian heritage? I remember reading somewhere or other that his mother is of Russian-Jewish descent, and that should be just as important as Gyllenpappa's Swedish roots. But it seems that both we and Jake only highlight the Swedish part.

Simon Agent 002 said...

Cina your correct.

mrs_dalloway said...

Yes, cina, you're right. American football is what in my country is called rugby, where the guys are running with the ball in their hands. Soccer is the european football, where the ball is passed from foot to foot.Yeah..aren't sports interesting?..I still don't get it tho' why do they mix the names..

Simon Agent 002 said...

Well there is one truth that applies to many different sports.....Grown people running after balls!

mrs_dalloway said...

Simon, you have an eye for truths.

Nothing Really Matters said...

Cina I think you must have miss read what I wrote dahline.

cina said...

Hey there gummy! I too have wondered why the Russian descent is rarely talked about by Jake or by people in general. But I guess since his Swedish descent is noble and has an interesting story behind it (you know, the queen and the bug collector for the court etc), it's more interesting to him and to others. I'm just guessing here, but I think it could have something to do with that.

cina said...

@nothing really matters - miss read what?

Nothing Really Matters said...

what i wrote about football and soccer being the same, well implied it! or not!

mrs_dalloway said...

NRM, I think I was the confused one here that messed people up. I just had to solve the problem with all these sports names..
There's another issue that's bothering me now..guess what's on the radio: 'wonderful tonight' Eric Clapton!! that man is stalking me, I know it! Wonder if he has a blog about me..

Nothing Really Matters said...

So everyone is just a little confused today, no one taken there pills tonight! Must check my bottles.

cina said...

Well I have a splitting headache, so I'm gonna blame that for my confusion, lol!

Nothing Really Matters said...

Don’t worry dahline, I get so confusion I have to keep looking in the mirror!

Paranoir said...

"There has been no offical word from Gyllenhaal's people but sources say that Jake himself was overheard saying, "britpop would fucking kill me if I supported another team plus David Beckham is like, my hero." "

HAHAHA XD You're crazy ! (it's a compliment lol)

britpopbaby said...

I don't know what the fuck you folks are on about but...

I really hope that his neck was supposed to be badly photoshopped!

How DARE you! It took me 30 seconds to create that picture er, I mean, that's a genuine picture of Jake dressed as Michael Owen!

Nothing Really Matters said...

I think maybe Jake used the wrong typy of Johnson's holiday skin!

Anonymous said...

That is just a desperate try of three-lioned-fangirls to mobilize the last energies and supernatutural forces to create a tad of hope in the final stadium of sorrow and pain...
;-)
OK. You won today. But don't credit that on Jake. Just on that poor Paraguayo.

cina said...

Michael Owen is hot!
Even hotter with Jake's head on his shoulders.

The Bearded Lady said...

Oh that Johnson's Holiday Skin Cream!...yes that's how I look now...legs tan...wax area white/pink where the new skin is comming back ...upper torso same old pale skin. I'm tri coloured now!....

Simon Agent 002 said...

And poor Jake was sensitive about his head size ...now I see why...

britpopbaby said...

No, it's not Jake's fault. Michael Owen is just very small.

Agnes said...

^^exactly

wesntia said...

Just something I've wondered about for a while... but why do we never hear or talk about Jake's Russian heritage?

Probably because half of Sweden appears to write here...and no Russians as far as I can remember. I'm not totally sure but I think the discussion about Jake's Swedish roots has always been initiated by one of our lovely Swedes...which is so cute, I'd do that too if I were Swedish :)

Simon Agent 002 said...

Yes, that's it! Owen doesn't measure up! LMAO!

mrs_dalloway said...

I can't say I'm very fond of this picture.Jake looks like a midget.And I imagine him playing football like that.And I don't like what I see.

Nothing Really Matters said...

It’s a Saturday night I wonder if Jake is out and about down the town??

Simon Agent 002 said...

I'd bet he's out...where and with whom is the next questions

claire said...

er, can we just get this one straight - football is the game that's being played at the moment in the world cup - FOOTball, its about getting the ball into a net using mainly one's FEET. Soccer is the name given to it by people who don't know any better!

Anyway, i'm glad to see Jake's supporting England - have just got back from a whole afternoon and evening at my next door neighbours bbq whilst we watched the match - not bad - they played well to start but not a good 2nd half but they still won. Jake would be proud.

Nothing Really Matters said...

Yes claire thats right.

Simon Agent 002 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nothing Really Matters said...

Pussy will check for problems

Simon Agent 002 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nothing Really Matters said...

Everything is in working order.

Simon Agent 002 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Simon Agent 002 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Simon Agent 002 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nothing Really Matters said...

Yes dahline I'm everywhere

Simon Agent 002 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

I know I should be writing about Jake but after reading all the comments abouts Swedes I got courious about just how many Swedes are posting here? I'm one of them so that's one

Anonymous said...

I know I should be writing about Jake but after reading all the comments abouts Swedes I got courious about just how many Swedes are posting here? I'm one of them so that's one

nugget said...

I know I should be writing about Jake but after reading all the comments abouts Swedes I got courious about just how many Swedes are posting here? I'm one of them so that's one

nugget said...

okey, so I pussed the button one to many times

my goldfish is evil said...

My bet, Jake's got nothing but love for the socca warriors and is bouncing that ass in support of the coolest team this WC. (given the total lack of a Belgian team at the cup or even some Belgian Jake heritage, I'm rooting for the underdog)Sorry Sweeds.(and wouldn't we all like to see jake shake his ass around and around...and around (in shorts)Go Trinidad and Tobaga.

cina said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
cina said...

Well I'm Swedish and of course I'm proud of the fact that Jake's part Swedish. But this time, it was in fact a BRITISH person (winterbird) who brought up his heritage, so it's not fair to say it's always us Swedes....

my goldfish is evil said...

'bet' with a d and 'Tobaga' with an o.Excuses for bad spelling: I've got an IQ below 30 and my goldfish really is evil(the eyes, the eyes).

Anneka said...

Jake needs to wash his neck in this hilarious picture. I was about to go into a rant about football but I've changed my mind and I'll do it somewhere else.

britpopbaby said...

What were all those deleted comments about? I hope you kids were playing nice?

cina said...

I deleted my comment at 12:25 because I made so many typos due to my empty stomach. The other ones I don't know.
I still haven't eaten, and it's about time now. I'm about to pass out...!

*goes to kitchen*

Nothing Really Matters said...

That would be Simon Agent 002

Nothing Really Matters said...

I think he has a thing for me! He does not want the rest of Jake Watch to know I turned him down!

Simon Agent 002 said...

Well, Pussy dear, that's not how I remember it. Had you not imbibed an entire bottle of my gin...Perhaps you would have followed my instuctions more clearly..Requiring less typing on my part...

Frank Sinatra said...

"Excuse me ladies, but there's nothing that can pull a dame down faster than hooch"

mrs_dalloway said...

Frank,it's very nice to see you.Thought you passed away in the 90s.I see you are a very good under-cover agent, so you are def fit for the Jake missions.

So..where were you hiding? In the Rocky Mountains,maybe?

Frank Sinatra said...

I'm immortal dear...

mrs_dalloway said...

So I see..

Franzi said...

Oh, britpopbaby .. you made my day!

My 2 loves combined: Jake and football!

You should have put him into Becks' shirt though!!!

and yes it's called FOOTBALL!!!

well, Sven really is great ... not happy to see him go! but at leaat they went for McClaren to replace him.

and... Michael Owen isn't called "the midget" for nothing ;o)

Come on, England!!!

Order Pills Antibacterial said...

I am very happy to read this article..thanks for giving us this useful information.