Sunday, June 25, 2006

EXCELLENT WORK, AGENT!

Jake Watch loves nothing more than a good scoop but it's been about a month since our last so let's get a little creative. Thanks to Agent Katie (who must have the eyesight of a cheetah with spectacles for catching this!), Jake Watch can unofficially reveal that:

MAYBE THE GYLLENHAAL HAS QUIT SMOKING!?

No! Surely not! This is HUGE. Regarde la evidence:

Katie goes on to dissect: "According to some instructions for nic patch use: 'Stick the patch onto your outer upper arm or any clean, dry, non-hairy part of your trunk.'" Hee Hee - trunk. Great research, Agent.
Well, I'm sold. I dare say it's a nicorette patch, chaps! Either that or a nude coloured bra...
Good luck with it, Jake! I could use some corny, "I wish I knew how to quit you" line but instead I'll offer some copyrighted britpopbaby advice: drink copious amounts vodka to take your mind off the cigarettes, easy!
(pic from IHJ, nicorette patches from all good chemists, all good vodka from britpopbaby.)

59 comments:

sunnyweather said...

Can't see the picture, britpopbaby

beskyddaren said...

Katie, you are GOOD!

britpopbaby said...

Pic works for me, sorry sunnyweather.

You can see it HERE if you're a member of iheartjakemedia.com.

nice anonymous said...

And we're sure it's not a band-aid covering the scratches from BritPopBaby's fingernails?

miffed67 said...

DUDE, I just KNEW he was trying to quit! GREAT JOB, katie! AWESOME! I'm so proud of the Gyllenhottie, I can only go.....AWWWWW!

Agnes said...

Good work Katie. *Keeps my finger crossed for Jake*

tankergirl said...

I am in awe of this incredilbe sleuthing! I bow in respect & honor, Katie.
As for the smoking, I always kind of liked that he had this one weakness, amongst all the the fitness and good will. Oh well, I'll cheer him on with this, too.

Anonymous said...

You know someone had to put that one for him. Unless he's severely double triple jointed. LOL If it's the patch indeed, they would have had to press down on it go really make it stick well like the directions say. (that is how I quit 4 years ago) Whoever did it is very lucky.

cina said...

Now THAT's what I call hawk-eyes!! And it's a good guess I think, we haven't seen him smoking in a long time now. Plus, he's started to excercise a lot, so perhaps he's decided (a new year's resolution perhaps?) to start leading a healthier life? If so, Jake - I have to say: Looking good, dude! Now would you please remove that shirt of yours so we can see the result of your efforts completely? Pretty please...?

Kendra said...

Oh, it's a pity... am I the only who thinks Jake looked like cool and hot when he smoked?

hedda parsons said...

Good for him!

Amerika Bound said...

anonymous @ 3:09pm, i'm not severely double triple jointed at all and i can reach around and press down in the same spot without any real difficulty.. i do stretch and do yoga a bit but i asked my brother to see if he could do it (same build as jake) and he could too..

:P

and kudos to jake for giving up, smokin harms ur sperm :P

Anonymous said...

If he uses his left arm and sort of gives himself a one-armed hug, he could put the patch on his right side. The only thing that perplexes me is thinking of him giving himself a one-armed hug. It makes me feel bad. Especially when there are a great many people who would willingly give him a two-armed hug...Jakey, plz! Let me help you!

Anonymous said...

This would also explain all the water he's been drinking. He's tryin to get rid of the toxins. Go Baby!

queenscroft said...

Wow good spot. This Jake surveillance is seriously paying off.

The Bearded Lady said...

Oh dear, and all this time I thought it was a birth control patch...Katie you have eyes of an eagle! Lets hope he is quitting. For his own sake... Miss Bearded Lady understands how hard it is to give up habit you enjoy.... for me it was needlepoint...I wish I had a patch when I went thru that withdrawal...sometimes I would see a seat cushion and my hands would tremble.

Smurfeyshmoo said...

Wow Katie, you're amazing! And I'm so proud of Jakey! JW should make him some sort of congratulatory and encouraging gift. (Non-sexual. Maybe.)

Anonymous said...

I only ever saw him smoke sometimes when he was with the dunst.Probably drove him to it.As for the plaster could be anything but it would be easy to apply himself as we have seen pictures of him self hugging.Just a healthy boy.

Anonymous said...

Wonder if he drinks?And what his fave tipple is?Anybody know what he likes?

Anonymous said...

My god the beard is in full force there isn't it.I like it though.

Anonymous said...

anon 5.25 I agree.It has an alarming growth rate.So fast.
So sexy.

smurfette said...

well, we know from city slickers that jakey is double jointed =P... and speaking of a one-armed hug, you guys remember that picture where he looked like he was scratching himself when he was eating outside on that bench with maggie and peter? maybe he was scratching the patch then!

Anonymous said...

OMG, smurfette! You're right!!! And I thought he was sitting there carressing himself. I know I would...carress him, I mean...not myself...He was probably in discomfort from the patch.Ciggies probably make Maggie sick to her stomach right about now. When I was pg, I couldn't stand the smell of a cigarette. I quit. That's how I knew I was pregnant. The day after baby was born, I craved a ciggie! I know.

dani said...

Almost all of the pictures I saw of him smoking were with Kirsten just like anon 5:22 said. Kirsten smoked, too. It's hard to quit if you are constantly around someone who does.
I don't smoke and never have but do find it a little sexy when a hot guy smokes. So, Kendra, you are not the only one who thinks that way....But for his health and longevity and so that we can gaze upon his beauty for as long as possible, I hope Jake really is trying to quit. My friend thinks that if he continues to smoke he will lose his gorgeous looks. Her example is Mel Gibson who used to be pretty hot himself back in the day but he is a notorious smoker. I don't know if that's what took awy his looks or no. All I care about is Jake having good health. So, more power to him if this is what he is trying to do.

Anonymous said...

Congrats, Katie, good work. God knows I had gone over every other inch of those photos several times, but I missed the shoulder blades. Attempting to quit would go along with the very slight weight gain some of think we've noticed.

Maybe he's giving them up because of the impending arrival of young Gyllengard. You know, Uncle Jake not wanting to set a bad example or harm young lungs.

About the patch, he may have applied it himself, but it's much sexier to imagine Chris or Austin or Heath or Peter applying it for him.

Anonymous said...

I never knew he smoked! My image of the Jakemeister has been tarnished! :(

Anonymous said...

If you watch the Donnie Darko DVD's behind the scenes footage you can catch him smoking pre-Dunst.

I wish I had of kept track of all of those old interviews of him that have dissapeared offline. I remember a british reporter asking him if his parents ever knew when he was high (although he didn't use the word "high" he used some slang term), and Jake's response was that no, he didn't think they ever knew when he was in either a Bubbleboy or a Highway interview. Heh. He obviously doesn't open his mouth that much about that sort of stuff anymore.

dani said...

I read somewhere amongst the thousands of things I've read on Jake - that he started smoking when he was 17 or 18. So, yes, that is pre Dundst.

That probably is why he has really started excercising so much - to fight off the creeping pounds - still looks good to me. And this could also account for his occassional irritability of late.

Katie of Sweden said...

Thanks sisters for the cred.. You all rock!

kokodee said...

*dies laughing*
Damn! You stalkers are better than i thought!

miffed67 said...

When I was using the patch, I had no problems applying it to myself in a similar location, so I could see Jake being able to do it. And it is entirely possible he was rubbing or scratching it in those lunch photos, too. Those things used to give me muscle cramps when I used them, I used to rub mine all the time.

Ivy said...

Wow! I'm all for a non-smoking, self-hugging Jake. If he's quitting he'll be healthier, happier, and therefore sexier - so good luck, hot stuff!

thesweetestone said...

I am turned on by him smoking...
gives him the "bad boy" image (i cant belive i just said that).

cina said...

am I the only who thinks Jake looked like cool and hot when he smoked?

@kendra: I must admit that I find him looking incredibly sexy when he's smoking too.

Simon Agent 002 said...

It's not a nicorette patch. We had agent Plaid apply a microphone to "Holden"...this happened the same night we lost contact with her...It was brilliant work on agent Plaid's part. But sadly the mircophone is defective, the only sounds we are receiving, are what sounds to be stomach growling noises....followed by the sound of swallowing large amounts of yet unknown liquids.

Anonymous said...

Yeah "Maybe" smoking does sexy,also if He no need of it for beeing that but i wish absaolutely that he just quit with it !

I dont smoke but i know how hard can beeing tryng to stop it

But it is also a thing about health and Jake (i think ) is such an healthy guy that i am really really happy about this news.

Go Man !

Diana Rigg said...

I've been reading the various side effects from these nicorette patches ,....excessive facial hair growth.... a desire to wear loose clothing....decreased desire to bathe... temporary colour blindness....sudden urges to squat...

cina said...

LMAO!! ^^

beskyddaren said...

It's not a nicorette patch. We had agent Plaid apply a microphone to "Holden"...

LMAO! And Diana is on to something too...

britpopbaby said...

LMAO at Simon Agent 002. I didn't know we were up to reccon? You have to tell your Commander these things!

Simon Agent 002 said...

Well I think agent Plaid took matters into her own hands (so to speak)...the side effects would suggest a nicorette patch...but where are these sounds coming from then?? Could the mic have been swallowed? and by who?

Agnes said...

@Diana rigg: LOL!!

JoyceDavenport said...

You're all completely nuts- it's why I love you.

The Bearded Lady said...

So are we to understand from Katie, via the nicorette instuctions that his shoulder blades are not hairy body part?...And I can no longer fantasize about his back hair?... Miss Katie you are a dream destroyer!

Katie of Sweden said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The Bearded Lady said...

Oh Katie dear, where have you run to?...all is forgiven...It's not your fault he doesn't have backhair...Miss Bearded Lady was just a bit upset at the news of it. I'm over the shock now...when you reach my age, dear there are so few fantasys left to cling to...

Hill said...

Holy Crap.

I am so disgucted that I didn;t even KNOW he smoked in the first place!! And I dare saythat the smoking thing just may be the ONLY unattractive thing about the Gyllenhaal...

DAMN. Well, I suppose everyone must slip a little from their pedestals. A few more nude scenes a-la Jarhead, I think, should do the trick nicely.

Great detective work, though. And fingers crossed he can "quit them".

Nothing Really Matters said...

Well done kaite thats good work!

LOL Simon you do come with such, well......

Katie of Sweden said...

@tbl> I'm here... maybe he waxes his back? (But I don' think so). How about you..? Why don't you wax your beard off and become a jake/bond/agent gal?

The Bearded Lady said...

Well Katie dear , Besides the terrible pain involved (TBL is a baby)...I have made a vow....when Jake decides to remove his beard so will I....He knows all about this pact I made with him months ago....Still he continues to go around looking like a Werewolf man...What is a poor, feeble, elderly lady suppose to do?...Now he even has his friends growing them too!...as if to thumb his nose at me in "<< Stereo >>"....Oh to see him clean shaven once more before I push off this mortal coil would mean so much to me....

Katie of Sweden said...

Ok.. pact or not.. I can't wait to see more fabulous agents here ;)

The Bearded Lady said...

Honey, beard or not my prime days are behind me now i'm afraid.

msdonniedarko said...

its so amazing how many comments are left and so fast too i check this blog everyday and anything new already has a million comments on it britpopbaby you have made an amazing blog! oh ya and i kinda like it that jake smokes because it just proves hes not real uptight like i thought he might be!

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