Wednesday, May 24, 2006

DUDE, THIS ISN'T FUNNY, GIVE A GIRL A BREAK



Helping cute little chubby kids to play ball? What possible cynicism am I supposed to get from this? And the hormones around this place are raging enough without seeing you chillin' with the little people! God knows whats gonna happen when this baby of Maggie and Peter's arrives. I'm going to have to take shelter in a nuclear bunker (which wouldn't be a huge problem because for some reason there are loads round where I live - how scared of the Commies were we?). Look, now I just have to go and get some air - it's a good job Anneka and I are going to the zoo today.

Everyone else can torture themselves some more HERE. You've gone too far, Gyllenhaal. TOO FAR!

UPDATE: Watch the video of Jake playing ball HERE. The pap guy is British!

93 comments:

cina said...

OMG. I... I'm.... I just... He's...

*THUD*

Anneka said...

Just an observation - he doesn't seem to be helping. He keeps trying to get the ball off the kid! I think the kid was showing up his basketball skills. That said, uber cute.

And I wouldn't call it a zoo.

cina said...

Well, whatever he's doing - he still looks stunning. Enough to make me go "thud". And as hot as he is in white, I just wish he'd taken that shirt off.
On second thought, I would probably have had a heart attack so it's better he didn't.

winterbird said...

I agree... this is TOO MUCH... Now, I have to go back and look at all the sub-standard-ordinary-do-me-no-harm men in my office.

What's he doing in NYC again, anyway?

see you said...

MAJOR-CUTE! The friend (in the other pictures) 's quite cute too!

Katie of Sweden said...

Aaaahhh, I don't access to see the pics that are in the link. I wanna see those when his friend or whoever is in the pics. They are much more hotter :) than thos with the kid ;) Don't you think so too beskyddaren?

gin said...

OK, that is cuter than a pile of puppies. Seeing Jake with kids makes my uterus hurt.

Anonymous said...

I'm with cina on this one!

*THUD*

only1annabel said...

Its lke the man and baby poster all over again! I love it!
Jake...your such a tease! Not that I'm complaining!

tankergirl said...

Who needs an ovulation test kit? One look at those pix & BAM! (Now, if I could just get that damned "Royal G" sperm!)

Nothing Really Matters said...

I think your right Anneka he’s tapping the little kid on the shoulder, making him look left then with his right hand his trying to grab the ball.

gin said...

Whatever he's doing, I'm with tankergirl. Just looking at these sends all my little eggs jumping down like lemmings lookin' for some JakeSperm.
Sorry...it's too early in the morning, obviously, for me. My internal censor hasn't woken up yet. Well...it never really does...

Anna said...

I don't need the test, I can feel them jumping right now...

Hill said...

It's almost painful how adorable Jake is. I havne't had a Hollywood crush in YEARS but, BOY, do I have one on HIM!!!

((Sigh))

How strange it must be for him to have all these total strangers lusting after him in such a way. No wonder he hasn't had a girlfriend in a while. How could he possibly decipher those who actually care and those who are just after his...err...fame? ;)

Oh and helping the cute kids - that's just unfair.

Katie of Sweden said...

The comments on this blog is half of the fun with jakewatch... This ovulation thing... LOL.. I don't see many places where women talk like this, and where they kind of 'own' the place (you know what I mean?)... Me like!

Katie of Sweden said...

[b]Tankergirl[/b], speaking of Royal G... Actually, historically, people in Sweden were given the name GYLLEN-something if they are a child of an (unfaithful) king. (The king's 'bastard', don't know if there's any better word for it). So the first Gyllenhaal's dad [i]was[/i] perhaps a [b]king[/b]. Sorry to keep this genealogy stuff going but I do think this was On Topic.

Anonymous said...

does this html work?

cina said...

Use < > instead of [ ] here, then it works! :-)

Oh and Katie, thanks for the info on royal "bastards" getting the name "Gyllen-something" here in Sweden, I didn't know that! And as a Swede I must say that I find the genealogy of Jake extremely interesting! ;-)

Anonymous said...

i agree with anneka, it's like the kid got in the way and his trying to get the ball off him

Anonymous said...

OMG! I know exactly where these pictures were taken and i'm so tempted to go downtown after work. If hes back in town, i may need to do a little, um stalking! There was a defamer sighing of Jake and Natalie Portman on 5/22 in NY and Dunst could be in NY by the end of the week because Spiderman 3 starts filmimg the NY scenes these week and Cannes wraps up by the end of the week. If jake is still around there will be more pap pics, but if he is to be photographed with a starlet i would prefer Portman over Dunst!

Anonymous said...

And did you notice his beard got shorter?

giulia said...

really too much for me.....ok jake...you're not correct! ok bad guy..now i'm gonna take the first flight to NY and gonna rape you..it's your fault darling, you can't do this..it's like a shot in our hearts....years and years of feminists fights trying to emancipate women from the the only model of life=wedding/husband/kids...and now..the only thing i wanna do is having kids with you????...fuck the career, emancipation, freedom, travels and indipendence.....10 (kids) is a good number for you???

beskyddaren said...

Katie, kids or men, it's ALL good ; ) AND bad because I'm getting increasingly restless and frustrated watching all these pictures. Hormones are raging, tell you that!

cina said...

Anon 6:08 - you're officially on duty for Jake Watch. Now get stalking! ;-)

miffed67 said...

And I wouldn't call it a zoo.

It's not a place with a lot foliage and really big speakers, is it?

Damn you, Jake! And here I am with my tubes tied! He is just TOO ADORABLE!

Katie of Sweden said...

cina, I got a bit absorbed about this gyllen-king-thing when I heard it a week ago or so. I wanted to understand how this little village Härlingstorp (that I'd never heard of before) where the first Gyllenhaal stem from could have been related to some bypassing king! So I checked Härlingstorp up on a map, and God I got surprised - it was situated only some km away from Varnhem which according to new historians is where the center of Swedish history took place (in opposition to the area of Stockholm, Varnhem lies more southerly, in Västra Götaland). Jan Guillou (famous writer in Sweden, and perhaps abroad?) rather recently wrote a triology about a person during the the medieval time, and the main character in the book is from this Varnhem town.

Anonymous said...

Even if he is trying to get the ball from the kid, he is still being a total sweetheart with the little boy!!! SO CUTE!!! Love Jakey!

Anonymous said...

GOODNESS, he's playing basketball with the little tyke. (Remember, basketball is when one person has the ball and the other tries to steal it?!) HOW UBER CUTE IS THAT!!!

cina said...

That's interesting Katie! And I believe you're referring to the books about Arn? I haven't read those yet, but perhaps I should?

To anyone interested, check out http://www.gyllenhaal.org/.

Prophecy Girl said...

God, Jake, WHY are you doing this to me?! I'm going to LA over the weekend and if you aren't there, I can't even be mad at you because of your stupid overwhelming adorableness. The mixed emotions I'm feeling right now are making me weepy. :)

Anonymous said...

I can't wait to see him with Peter and Maggie's kid. I'm still waiting to see pictures of him helping out Heath with his god-daughter, Matilda. LOL

wtbgirl said...

Oh lord, the sweet agony - he's back here in NYC again. *sigh* must not roam *cough* stalk "Gyllenhaal country." But WHY then does he make it so painfully obvious to any NYer that lives in the nearby area exactly where he hangs out on a regular basis? AAHHHHH!!!!
btw to the anti-Dunsters - doubt he's he for her --- my bet is that the family is heading up to Martha's Vineyard for Memorial Day weekend and he flew in a few days early for NY daytime sporting activities with his buddy.

Ivy said...

This is NOT helping! I've been in a constant state of ovulation since the story about the twin girls in 'Zodiac'. This may just be the point at which I cave in and seek medical advice.

But I'm all for Jake playing basketball with his buddies. Let's hear it for the grappling!

phoebe said...

Oh, the humanity. This IS too much.. I love him, I love him, I LOVE him!

Leah said...

About him being a king- i read he is part jewish part sweedish royal. Kinda cool, right? About this kid thing- u guys are crazy, but i mean it in a friendly way:-)
Personally Im not so crazy about having litle brats, id rather live alone with him, travel the world and fuck alot:-)But from all the ppl in the world, he is the only guy i could totally have kidz with.Yeah, it is kinda cute... whats he doing to me!!!

Anonymous said...

Summer's here, and once again, most delightfully, we're going to be treated to papparazzi pictures of sporty Jake, having fun out there in the Manhattan urban environment, getting all those fine muscles of his working. I hope to soon see his t-shirted body seated on stoops and eating deli sandwiches, or hauling bags of food home from the Food Emporium as he learns to concoct yet another Italian recipe, or being photographed through the windows of dim little bistros.

mop said...

This here may help some of you get a peek at the pics.

mop said...

Personally Im not so crazy about having litle brats, id rather live alone with him, travel the world and fuck alot:-)

I agree with Leah. If I was with Jake, I'd require access to that cock 24/7. No shitty diapers, no leaking tits, none of it.

Leah said...

Mop, u r so right. Id want him for myself! well,since now we all share him with the whole world so ... if Im allowed to daydream, I see me and him ALONE. Reality sucks, doesnt it:-)

mop said...

Oh, he's allowed to have friends, even lovers. But if he wants kids he has to birth and raise them himself, and never be too busy or tired for sex with ME.

Leah said...

Youd let him have lovers? Remember, we are daydreaming now, so you can have it any way u want. In reality, Id let him do ANYTHING if he is with me.... but in fantasy he adores only me.
oh god, how low can i go:-)

Leah said...

would u rather- a)have his eternal and everlasting love, but not be allowed to have sex with him or b) have a one night stand and never see him again?
Sorry, i love asking ppl dumb questions.

squallcloud said...

Weird. I put up a message but it got eaten or something. First off, yay he's like 2 hours away from me. Makes me feel good. Next, I like the pics with the little kid their cute and all but I work in a school, see hundreds of kids all day. He's a cute little butterball but really I'm more interested in Jake body checking his friend during their basketball game. Yum Yum and Yum!

IHJ isn't playign fair. I have an account. Shut up. Won't let me access the pics eventhough I can access the forum section no problem. *pouts*

wtbgirl said...

Squallcloud: Try and register separately for each part of IHJ - I had to register at IHJ, then separately at IHJ Media (the section that posts all photos), and then again separately register at the IHJ Community (where the forums are located). Not sure why it's done that way over there, but now I have full access.

Anonymous said...

My Jake-related needs are so very modest. Weekly photographs, his movies. Conversation on this blog with the like-minded, who are similarly engaged by him. What I'd want, really, would be some kind of job where I could look out a window & see him walk past occasionally. I'd just lose my breath for a minute and say, "Ahhhh," with a sigh of pleasure. I just get a warm feeling from knowing that a living, breathing human being who looks like that is out there, among the living. And I'd count that as my good fortune, that I got to see him at his physical peak, while the bloom was on the rose, so to speak. Every day, Jake at his prime helps to beautify my world a little.

wtbgirl said...

I wish my needs were that modest. I need him to be spooning me, ensconced snuggly in his arms, preferably right now.

Leah said...

anonymous, thats so sweet and innocent! Im much worse person than u, i couldnt look at him without touching:-) Id just glue myself to him or sth. Actually, i wouldnt, cause if i saw him i probablly wouldnt be able to move, and Id just drowl so hed think im insane and would run away... Id be like Homer simpson when he sees a donut.

beskyddaren said...

"And I'd count that as my good fortune, that I got to see him at his physical peak, while the bloom was on the rose, so to speak. Every day, Jake at his prime helps to beautify my world a little."

Anon 9:45, I agree with you on everything else but those last sentences. I for one think the best is yet to come. He's gorgeous now, but say in ten years or so - it's going to be so much hotness my brain goes short circuit just trying to imagine him then.

Anonymous said...

Here is a video I found of him on that day if anyone is interested: http://www.splash-video.com/index2.pgi

cina said...

There's a video of Jake playing B-ball in NY here!
http://www.splash-video.com/index2.pgi

Click on "click here for more", then look for Jake's video, it should be in the top row. If that doesn't work, click "video latest" in the top left corner.

Bruinsmama said...

The unbearable cuteness of Gyllenhaal!!!

britpopbaby said...

I found the vid - thanks!

cina said...

Oh, I didn't see there already was a post about that. Sorry!

mop said...

You have to log in ^_~

bookgirltx said...

Aaawwwwww!!! Jake being sweet to children.

And that sound you hear is my ovaries SCREAMING back to life!!!

LA said...

Um, is that "friend" in those pictures Austin? Appears to be so from here.

(I love Jake, someday, he will submit to my charm and beauty.)

mop said...

And yes, I would let him have lovers

Anonymous said...

No LA, that is Jake's (since childhood) friend Chris, who is a chef in NYC.

Anonymous said...

i've watched the video like 10 times. when's the part with the little kid?

cina said...

That part is unfortunately not in the video. But you do see (and hear!) that little kid running around.

Anonymous said...

Who are those people standing around? Are they waiting for sth?Seems like they're looking at sth. Jakey,His Sexiness,is playing ball and no one is looking at him. What's wrong with you, dear New Yorkers?:)

cina said...

Anon 1:27 - This is what it says with the video:
"Jake Gyllenhaal shows off his ball skills as he shoots hoops on a basketball court with a male pal. The actor spent more than 30 minutes playing on the public court in New York, while children played in a neighboring playground and an ad campaign was filmed next to him. But that didn't seem to put him off as he worked up a sweat with the friend. They goof around on court and at one point dance to music that is playing next to them. They are interrupted by a female fan who wants to talk to Jake. He is wearing a T-shirt with the slogan "Free City". As he leaves, Jake is asked if he enjoyed his ball game but he just smiles."

I guess it's the filming of the ad campaign people are looking at.

Anonymous said...

Oh, thank you,cina,I haven't read the caption.But still, who, on earth, would look at some stupid ad campaign when Jake Gyllenhaal is running around and being sweet and a little goofy?

Anonymous said...

I don't know... I don't know... It's so weird. I've got this totally weird feeling when I see Jake playing this ball.I mean, he's running around like an ordinary person. The guy people are lusting for and drooling over all over the world is JUST running and you can hear the sounds of New York, children are lauthing, people are walking by, and he's one of them. He even stops for a while to watch what's going on.The hottest tease ever born.Sometimes I can't believe he's real. This is what I mean. But apparently HE IS.

miffed67 said...

But you do see (and hear!) that little kid running around.

And wasn't that kid just. so. cuuuuuutttee? I mean, he doesn't beat Jake, but it was SO cute how he kept running back over to the court like he wanted to play, too.

ThesweetestOne said...

Adorable!!! Hey, when is Zodiac coming up? I think he is so hot there...everywhere.... my boyfriend told me hell brake up with me if i proceed with my litle obsession and i laughed to his face. Like just the fact Jake exists somwhere far turns me on more than any other guy in the world could with a physical contact. Am i demented or am i disturbed?

thesweetestone said...

oh and, whatching his pics or videos makes me feel orgazmic. All i do is fantasise about what id do to him....and its so disappointing cause i know that no guy i ever meet will make me feel like that... no one is that cute and funny and sexy and... I wanna cry. I should be more mature I guess, Im 18, but I dont care anymore.

Anonymous said...

I've watched the video 3X and I don't think he makes one basket, nor does Chris. Not that it matters. I bet if Kirsten were there she'd make a few baskets, she looks the type.
There's a v. cute guy in the advertising crew, quite tall in a blue t-shirt. Couldn't they have asked him to shoot a few?
And it was definitely hot enough today for them to take off their shirts.
Nice to look at nevertheless.

gin said...

Someone said something about modest Jake needs. I wish I had that kinda self control...he beautifies my world, too...but he could do it a lot better in person. Naw, my needs are far from modest. I wanna do that man till he passes right the hell out. I want to make him scream. I'm sorry. I'm just not a modest kinda girl.

miffed67 said...

I've watched the video 3X and I don't think he makes one basket, nor does Chris.

I know! I was watching that, too. Can't complain, tho..he's out and about. If I see those jeans one more damn time, tho....I'm going to scream.

I wanna do that man till he passes right the hell out. I want to make him scream. I'm sorry. I'm just not a modest kinda girl.

Right there WITH you! I could use a little of that action myself.

thesweetestone said...

I wanna tie him to my bed and make love to him untill we both fuckin die from exhaustion...Im not modest. Im dangerous. If I saw him, he wouldnt have a chance. I wouldnt give him time to run away.

britpopbaby said...

I swear I saw it go in once at the beginning!

thesweetestone said...

Yeah, Gin is right. Id do the same.. what if hes reading this and then like stops leaving the house out of fear?

SquallCloud said...

Dear god, he is finer than fine but homeboy has NO ups. I've rarely ever seen someone play b-ball that badly. Makes him all the more endearing. *sigh* I though soux chef boy was cuter than that. Hmmm

miffed67 said...

Hey...I just realized! Jake has a dark colored shirt just like that white one. Black? Or blue, maybe? It says Free City on the back, too.

Damn, now I'm catalogueing the man's clothes. He should just take them off.

Anonymous said...

Nice to see New Yorkers going on about their business and paying no attention to a chef and a movie star playing basketball together. Stay in Manhattan, Jake, and we'll try to be cool about it, so maybe you can have a few moments now & then resembling a "normal" life. Hope you haven't lost out on that entirely.

thesweetestone said...

I watched a clip from ellen and shes like asking him to take his shirt off all the time and all the girls just make these extatic screams. Id make a law where hed be forbidden to wear any clothes in public. That body is way to good to be hidden, we all must be allowed to enjoy it. Sorry, it happens when u r so amazingly sexy...

britpopbaby said...

We haven't seen his naked torso for a hell of a long time - the Free Boo Campaign worked so maybe we should try a Get Your Shirt Off Campaign?

gin said...

I wanna tie him to my bed and make love to him untill we both fuckin die from exhaustion...Im not modest. Im dangerous. If I saw him, he wouldnt have a chance. I wouldnt give him time to run away.

It's like you're reading my mind. The things I want to do to that man...I can't say them in public. I don't know what it is about him...the eyes, the voice, the treasure trail to heaven...but he just brings out every fantasy I have. Wow. I gotta go. I have no shame, so I have to cut myself off.

thesweetestone said...

Oh yes... I can think of at least ten ppl i know who would support it, including of course moi. And Im sure, there will be many of us in the end. Lets do it! We need to make a difference! Make world a better place, start NOW!

thesweetestone said...

we lived in silence for to long, but now is the time we speak up about this injustice thats been going on. I...WILL...NO...LONGER.. TOLERATE...WATCHING...THAT...MAN... IN...FUCKING...SHIRT! Put an end to this torture. Ower human rights are in question. Women of the world unite!

Anonymous said...

I think it's hilarious he's trying to get his ball back off the kid.Dreamy pics.You is looking good Jake my man.

Anonymous said...

No, I watched a couple more times and it definitly did not go in once, although Britpop's loyalty is touching. To be fair there a few times when the ball leaves the frame, but if you look where they pick it back up, I don't think it ever went in the hoop. Not even when Chris tries to dunk it.
Squall's right, that is some real serious spoiled-white-suburban-boy's b-ball goin' on. And she's also right that it's very endearing.

Smurfeyshmoo said...

Yeah, I definitely noticed that the Jakester is not so great at basketball. But that's okay...I don't really like basketball. I come from a wrestling family. If he needs some pointers, I'd be happy to teach him. ;)

ripley said...

Damn, Jake. You can't even play an innocent game of basketball with a childhood friend without me thinking dirty thoughts.
I'm pretty sure I know where that park is, but I'm not positive. His friend must live around there. I'm going to the city this weekend, but I won't be looking for Jake. (whistles innocently)

squallcloud said...

I wonder if he didn't take that long sleave shirt off becase he didn't want to look lik eh was showing off. Also, keep in mind that eventhough there was an ad being shot nearby, Jake still had a cadre of paps hawking him and only one person approached. New Yorkers are so fucking cool.

cina said...

He may suck at basketball judging from that clip, but he's fucking Michael Jordan compared to me.

And I'm all for a Get Your Shirt Off Campaign. Flaunt that beauty of yours Jake! Make us happy!

MW said...

Yea...Jake with kids...*sqee spasm* =)
Anyway, for those who said that he didn't make a basket, I saw two in the vid he made: a 3-pointer/long 2-pointer at around 6.87 seconds into the clip (look near the top right corner), and he got a lay up around 34 seconds in.

Katie of Sweden said...

Saw the film. Wow!

Anonymous said...

I want his shirt off, yeah. Exactly the way it was in those older pictures taken from the basketball game. You all know the one I mean. He's wearing green shorts. Well, sort of wearing them, since they are definitely sliding southward.

Anonymous said...

Whoops, I meant "baseball" game, not "basketball" game.

Anonymous said...

I might be a bit late with the topic on this one... but to the other Swedes discussing the GYLLEN-related royalness; I read somewhere that Jake was told his Swedish ancestor was a beetle-collector for the Swedish king... Isn't that what Carl von Linné did? Is Jake related to Linné?! Cause that would be kinda cool...

An aslo - the pictures are so CUTE you could just die... (I think I might...)

debaser said...

what's he doing?..I'm sure the kid can walk on his own without being held up...plus that child is not old enough to appreciate having jake hold him round the waist.