Thursday, April 13, 2006

OUR NEWEST FEATURE: BACK AWAY FROM MY MAN!

I'm all for sisterhood but unfortunately I sometimes have to turn around and stab a fellow female in the back and then crawl over her rotting corpse to get to where I wanna be. This attitude will be the dominant feature of Back Away from My Man! Eyes are going to be clawed out.

First up on the butcher's block is one Miss Sophia Bush. Here she is flirting away like demonic temptress she is. Jake seems mildly amused by it all, amused yet interested. Luckily for us fans Atticus has stepped in and seperated the pair before anything more occurs - the Germans are so efficent. It's also good to see that she kinda looks like crap. Lime green cropped trousers?

So listen up, Jake! This woman is not for you, mainly because she is in One Tree Hill and I hate that show more than I hate The O.C, which is a lot, but also because she got hitched to Chad Michael Murray who just...well, upsets me.

And Sophia, count yourself warned. I don't want to ever see you hanging around the almighty Gyllenhaal again, got it? BACK. AWAY. FROM. MY. MAN.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

I tought the title means: Sophia said to Jake; Back away from my man!
Lol

Anonymous said...

Stay cool britpopbaby. These were taken on a day Sophie went hiking with Jake and Austin. They were just cropped creatively.

Anonymous said...

This is a picture from the infamous walk on the beach with Jake and Austin, with Sophia Bush playing the third wheel.

britpopbaby said...

Well she was talking to him. That's enough to earn a red card in my books.

Anonymous said...

Shame man, don't be mean to Sophia. She's had a crap year and yet is still doing the very strenous task of acting as beard to TWO (count them: one, two) men.

Anonymous said...

Can you be a beard to two people? It must be hard I mean just hanging on to their chins like that and tryinging to avoid being shaven. What a hard life she must lead. But I have a cure for her...STAY AWAY FROM JAKE and go back to your chump micheal curry or what ever he is called. I mean green and pink Victorias secret cropped trousers paired with a grey jumper, who the hell wears that?! I mean atleast the Cunst had some fashion sense, but this is just insulting, Jake!

Anonymous said...

How do you know she's not double-bearding and is not, in fact, meat in that sandwich? They both have a history of dating women, ya know (Austin was engaged for years, until recently). No one would be tacky enough to say, "Oh, sure, we have threesomes," even if they were having threesomes. Now you can really be envious!

But I do suspect she's just a friend. There was some quote from her that "If I have to be around men right now, I'd like to have it be these two," meaning A & J. She just got over being dumped by a borderline pedophile (Chad Michael Murray, engaged to an underaged girl now) after a very brief marriage. And I'm not saying that A & J aren't just buddies, either. This is just one of those leggy stories, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

to me in this pic she is already backed away and so is he.

Anonymous said...

Calm down! He never will have a relationship with a girl with that name, Bush. He's a man of strong convictions.

Anonymous said...

Quote:
How do you know she's not double-bearding and is not, in fact, meat in that sandwich? [end quote]

Is that Mandy? I know you are obessed with Jake and meat sandwiches! If you are not Mandy, I am sorry that I accused you of being her, but it just seems like something she would say.

Anonymous said...

Lol, just btw, my "beard" comment was a joke. I neither know, nor care if Jake is gay (well I care in that I am a big dreamer and will have hope till the day I die my dreams will come true, LOL, but if he's gay, blah blah, you've heard this from every "Jake fan" around so I don't need to carry on).

Anonymous said...

You know, it's funny I mentioned this pic to my friend before I read this, and I was like, "Dude, she's like used!" He don't want that! Please tell me you don't want that, Jake!

Anonymous said...

LOL, yes...stay away...he's ours...*evil eyes*

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Anonymous said...

That *****! (Pardon my French.) He's too good for her, with those ocean-blue eyes, dark-brown stubble, and handsomely-mussed hair... It's all too much!